Tuesday, June 10, 2014

conversations in the car...

As our school year draws to a close, I was reflecting on the fact that I drive my boys to and from school every day.  It is something we choose to do as a family for a number of reasons but really, it just works for our family.  One of the things I enjoy about all this driving is the conversations I have with my kids. We spend time on a variety of topics.  Here is a peak into some of the conversations in our car this past year...


Sometimes, we talk about the future and what it will look like to be older:


L - Mom, when Sarah and I are in High School and have five kids can we live with you?
Me - (loooooooooooooong pause)(thinking, thinking, thinking) 'Sure'
L - Ok, thanks.  Just checking.
J - Seriously.  Luke, you can't have kids in High School because you won't be old enough to get married.
L - Oh, really.  Ok.  How about when I'm in college can I get married then?
Me - How about we get you through first grade first and then start planning your wedding...

At home later, I told Mark he needed to have the s-e-x talk with the boys because Luke was planning on having a large family and starting early.  And yes, I did spell it out even though we were the only ones in the room.

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The boys have picked out the cars they are going to buy.  You know you can never plan too far ahead for your first car.  They are 10 and 8 right now...

 L - John what kind of car are you going to get?
J - An orange mustang convertible with black stripes.
L - That's awesome.
J - How about you?
L - I'm getting a red mustang with a spider on the front.
J - I don't think they make cars like that.
L - I'm getting a custom paint job
Me - Say whaaat?
L - Sure Mom.  They have places that paint cars anyway you want them to.
Me - Well, I knew that but how did you.
L - Duh.  Mom.  The movie Cars.

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Sometimes we talk about silly things that are fun to discuss...

L - Let's pick super heros for everyone in the family.
J - Ok.  I'm Ironman
L - I'm Spider-man (shocking!)
L - Who is dad?
J - How about Superman?
L - Yeah.  That's great.  How about mom?
J - Mom, what super hero would you be if you could be any one?
Me - I would be Storm because I like her boots.
J - (eye roll) (dramatic sigh) Mom, you can't pick your super hero based on her shoes.
Me - Ok.  I'd be Storm because she can fly and control the atmosphere AND because she has cool boots.
L - Who is Grace going to be?
J - How about Wonder Woman?
Me - Oh.  I forgot about her.  Maybe I'll be her.  I like her outfit.
J - Moooooom! (said with disgust)  It's a costume not an outfit.  AND You.can't.pick.your.super.hero. because.of.her.costume.
Me - Ok.  Don't get mad.  I'll just borrow Grace's boots
J - mumbling

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Sometimes we tackle big, heavy topics that require thoughtful answers and grace filled words.

J - Mom, do you know what the N word is?
Me - Yes, honey I do.  
J - It's really bad.
Me - I know.
J - Why do people call other people mean things?
Me - I don't know but they do.  Where did you hear it?
J - At school.
Me - (at your private, Christian school?)  Can you tell me what you heard?
J - Mom it's really bad.  I don't want to say it.
Me - It's okay.  You're not really saying about someone it since we are discussing it together.  Also, this is how you learn and grow by talking to me and dad to figure things out.
J - Ok.  (he whispered) Nerd.
Me - Hmmm.  (Thank you Jesus!)  That is bad.  
J - Do you know the L word?
Me - I'm not sure.  Why don't you tell me?
J - Loser.
Me - Yup.  That's bad too.  Are boys calling each other names in school?  Or how did this come up?
J - Some of the boys are saying these things but not calling each other the names.  I think they heard them on TV or something like that.
Me - Well, remember if you don't have anything nice to say just don't say anything at all.  And name calling is never nice.  It just makes you look bad.
J - Mom!  You always say that.
Me - Well, it's true and it bears repeating.

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We listen to a lot of music in the car.  And of course, if the music is on, someone is always singing.  Which brings us to lyrics.

One day, the song Team by Lorde was on the radio and the boys were singing.  But each boy was singing something different.  So I asked what they thought the words to the song were, and that we could look them up when we got home.  Here are their answers and then the real lyrics:

J - I'm going out soon
L - The girl is absent
Actual - Send, the call out (repeated over and over and over again).

We love JT in our house.  So the boys request his songs all the time.  We were listening to the song Suit and Tie one day and John realized Luke was singing 'can I show you a toothpick' instead of 'can I show you a few things'.  Now, every time the song comes on we laugh about this...

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We talk future careers... 

Me - What do you want to be when you grow up?
J - An inventor.
Me - Really?  What would you invent?
J - Repulsers just like Tony Stark.
L - That would be so cool.
Me - You do realize that being an inventor requires you to be really good at math and science.
J - Well, maybe I'll just design them and someone else can do the math part.
L - Like Rhoddy?
J - Luke, they're not real people.  It's pretend.
L - I know that.
L - I want to be Spider-Man when I grow up.
J - Luke, he's not real either.  It's just a movie.
L - (thinking, thinking, thinking)
L - Ok.  Then I want to be an actor and be in a Spider-Man movie.
Me - Sounds good to me.  (wonder if they have any summer stock for kids locally)


It has been a pleasure to drive my boys to and from school everyday but, like them, I'm ready for summer vacation.  We are officially counting down and have 3 more days of school.  Yipee!


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