Yesterday I attended my weekly Women's Bible Study at our church and it was awesome. We are studying Galatians and using a Tim Keller study guide. There are 10 of us in the group and it is a great group of women who I feel have really meshed. We get deep about the word and our lives. We laugh and cry and just generally support each other. It is amazing. I'm so, so thankful I decided to join this group.
Anyway, after bible study I raced to Luke's school to pick him up (this bible study makes me late to pick up Luke on Wednesdays). John ate his lunch in the car and then we ran to the bus stop to get John on the bus (because I'm late picking Luke up, John has to eat in the car and then he has to run for the bus). Neither Luke nor I was hungry for lunch and in fact, my belly was rumbling. Since I never (I mean never) get sick to my stomach, I thought it must be something that I ate at church that just did not agree with me. So my sweet boy and I laid down together for a short nap.
Well, I was so sick that I couldn't sleep and spent most of my rest time in the bathroom. I called Mark and asked him when he thought he would be home because Mama was really sick! He said he should be home by 3:00pm. Well, he walked in at 3:35pm and I promptly walked right up stairs saying, "I have puked 5 times. Don't forget to get John off the bus in 7 minutes. Grace had a snack. Luke is in a diaper. I'm going to bed" As I was laying down and praying that I did not get sick again, Luke started crying for me and Mark yelled "Oh no!". Mark rushed Luke upstairs to our bathroom, telling me "he just threw up all over the couch and himself, but I can see John's bus. I'll be right back." Well, in an effort to spare you the gory details, Luke got sick a few more times and so did I. But eventually, about 7:30pm, we both felt a little better and were really thirsty.
I mean really thirsty.
Luke kept asking for water or milk and I would say no honey you can't it will make you sick. But at the same time, I was really thirsty. So I got some water and swished it around in my mouth and spit it out. And then took 2 tiny, tiny sips. I told Luke to do the same thing. Well, he is just 4 and hasn't had a stomach virus before. So he drank the water. And about 15 minutes later it came back up. Which left him more thirsty than before. So he started crying for water. And I said, "Luke your stomach can't handle it. It will just make you sick again"
So he said, "But it's just water mommy"
And as I sat there denying my son water for his own good. I thought, this must be how God feels when he says no to us or delays granting us what we ask, beg and plead for. As we sit here on earth in our human form, not knowing the plans he has for us. Not knowing the big picture. Not understanding that sometimes the very thing we want the most is what will hurt us at that time or waiting just a little bit longer for something is for our own good. As we sit here saying "But it's just a baby or a job or healing or a new house or a change in my husband or a new friend" God sits up in Heaven looking down on us in love saying "In due time my child. In due time. I will grant you the desires of your heart".
But (sometimes) we whine and wallow and don't want to wait for God's perfect timing, which comes out of God's perfect love for his children.
I know as I sat and held Luke until he fell asleep that denying him water was the best thing for him. But he did not understand why his mom wouldn't give him the one thing he wanted at that time. Eventually, about 1:30am, he woke up again and asked for water. This time I gave it to him and he kept it down.
I'd love to be able to say that I have learned this lesson and will from now on be able to wait for God's perfect timing in all things. But that would be a lie. I know in my current human form that will be impossible. But, I'd like to think that I will have an easier time waiting. And hopefully the next time I'm tempted to whine at God, I will remember Luke saying
But it's just water mommy...
7 comments:
what a lovely post, Anne. we do struggle with wanting things or circumstances and not understanding why God is not granting those to us. it's not neccesarily lacking patience. it's the not knowing God willl or will not act in the way we request. I often struggle with wanting to be in control, when i should get out of God's way instead.
Wow - powerful stuff, Anne! Thank you for sharing and reminding us!
Sorry you were guys were sick! ugh! Rough stuff!
Amazing how you tied in illness to Gods amazing love and grace for us!! Well done!
Blessings-
Amanda
Wow. I love moments like that, those moments when you can really *see* clearly. Love it.
Hope you guys are feeling better :)
got the package. I'll read everything this weekend and try it.
Thanks so much for this post Anne. It spoke to my heart. Right now I think I am probably doing a little more whinning then waiting on the Lord. I really want a bigger house, a bigger family and a vacation all of which take bigger $. However, I know the Lords timing is ultimately the best.
Stomach flu's the worst! Hope you and your little one are better soon :) I am going to take a look at your bible study. My women's group is always looking for new studies. Thanks for the link.
Blessings, Tina
Anne...that sounds awful with the tummy virus...I would prefer a cold or flu any day to that! Uggh...and hope you're all better.
I like your new blog background and signature:) I've been having blogger problems with our isp not allowing me to open it more often than not so it takes me a while to read my blogs now as often when I want to sit down and read or update my blog it won't let me which has been a bit of a pain...but right this second I can finally can catch up on your news at last.
Really appreciated your thoughts too with this post on waiting and God's timing.
Take care,
Anna
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