Our Gifts of Grace

weekend recap

2012-02-14T10:01:00.000-05:00

We had a really good weekend! It was the perfect mix of busy and slow. I love it when that happens. Our weekend started with our Friday night small group. We were supposed to review our bible study but we hadn't all been together in so long that we had fellowship and prayed for each family. It was so good. The only stinky part was Mark was home with Grace who was not feeling well.

Saturday we woke up to a dusting of snow and a really, really, super excited 8 year old boy. Today was THE day of his birthday party! John was so excited it was really cute. We had his party at a local bowling alley and all the boys had a lot of fun. It was cosmic bowling, which means they turn out all the lights and have strobe lights and disco balls. It was pretty hard to get any good pictures. Plus a certain 6 year old took my camera and messed with the settings somehow so most of my pictures are blurry.

My mom and dad watched Grace for us which was wonderful. She would have spent the two hours of the party in her chair and the lights/noise would have been at her upper limit for sensory overload. So instead, she got two hours of undivided time with her grandparents and their dog.

Saturday night was respite night! Mark and I went to eat at Brio and then walked around the mall. We had a great time at dinner just talking and being together. I just love spending time with Mark. One of my favorite stores to walk around in is Anthropologie. I just heart so many things in that store. Mark let me have a mini shopping spree for my Valentine's Day present. It was fun. I am drawn to all their home goods so I spent all my money on stuff for the house. I have been craving change in our home lately. Specifically adding color. So I got this butter dish. My plan is to slowly add in pretty and colorful accents to our home, starting in my kitchen. I bought this coffee mug for me with an 'a' on it and this coffee mug for Mark with an 'm' on it. We both fell in love with this candle and now I want one for our master bath. The smell is awesome and it lingers (in a good way) even when it's not lit. I fell in love with this guy, but just couldn't justify spending that kind of money on a cookie jar. But he is so cute.

Sunday we went to church in the morning and then Mark had to go to work (boo!). So the kids and I built a fire and relaxed all day. It was great to spend the day doing nothing but I paid for it on Monday when I was super behind on my housework, laundry and other tasks. Oh well, I think weekends and specifically Sundays should be spent relaxing!!

Hope you had a good weekend!

happy birthday john!!!

2012-02-09T20:46:00.000-05:00

Eight years ago today, John was born. In proper fashion, we celebrated with his favorite dinner (tacos) and cupcakes. We had a joint party for all three kids a few weeks ago. He received most of his presents at the party but I gave a few extra small ones today. I love birthdays and try to make the day special for the birthday person. This Saturday he is having his first friend party and we are going bowling. He is really excited.

Sometimes when I look at John I have flashes of the teenager and man he will become. It is most often when he is walking toward me or when he calls me in a certain way. It is there in a moment, too hard to define or describe but it leaves me breathless. I can't stand the thought of him growing up, it's happening too fast. But then again, I love who he is becoming and look forward to seeing him grow, change and develop. He has always held my heart in his hand.

Happy Birthday John. Mommy loves you more than you will ever know...

grown up stuff

2012-02-07T14:09:00.000-05:00

Back in December, our family went through a change. I knew that it was coming and in fact, we had some experience with it already. But for whatever reason, Mark and I both realized we had moved from physical parenting to emotional parenting. By that I mean, when kids are little parenting is mainly physical. You deal with feeding, napping, diapers, sleeping at night, potty training, hands are not for hitting and those types of issues. You are mainly taking care of your kids physical needs because they can't do it themselves. As kids get older, the issues become more emotional in nature. You are facing issues like feeling left out, friends not being nice, mean words, the desire to fit in, being made fun of and those types of emotional issues that kids face in the big world of school.

I remember friend's of ours telling us that little kids had little problems and big kids had big problems. At the time, our boys were 3 and 1 and their kids were 15, 14 and 12. We took this advice for what it was, the voice of experience. Fast forward four years and we both realized that all of the issues we had been facing as parents recently were bigger kid issues.

As kids become more independent, they are trying to figure out how they fit into the world and as parents we are not always there to help them interpret situations. And when kids make bad choices or choose a harder path than you would choose for them, it is left for us to help deal with the fall out. And there is always fall out to be dealt with.

These issues (I'm choosing the protect the privacy of my children and not discuss specifics here) kept coming up. One child kept making choices that were getting him in trouble. The consequences kept piling up but still the behavior remained.

My mama's heart was pained. Mark and I had many late night discussions. We prayed. I sought the counsel of other mothers, asking questions like 'did you ever deal with xyz', 'how did you handle xyz', 'how would you address this issue'. We prayed about it. I talked with the teacher. We prayed. We talked with the child in question. We changed the consequences. We prayed. I consulted pinterest (just kidding here, but wouldn't it be great if you could design a room, find a cool DIY craft, get a new look, make a fabulous meal AND figure out parenting issues all in one place?!?)

It was a difficult time for me. I was struggling. And I knew that these issues we were facing were not life and death. Not as big as issues that would come up when our kids were older. But what I struggled with was did we (or have we) built a solid enough foundation with our children to survive the future. Have we equipped our kids well enough.

One thing that Mark and I decided was imperative for our family was creating blocks of intentional, one on one time with each of our boys. This is impossible for us to do in our home. So we decided to start weekly date nights. We alternate the child and the parent until each child has been out with each parent once a month. So for example, on the first Monday night of the month Mark and John go out to eat, on the second Monday Mark and Luke go out, on the third Monday John and I go out to eat and on the fourth Luke and I go out to eat.

We let the boys pick the restaurant and they can order whatever food they want. Which usually means they pick chocolate chip pancakes and a soda.

Some nights we go with an agenda of what we want to cover. Sometimes we just go to talk and to find out what is on their minds.

This has taken some getting used to on the part of the boys. They are not used to time apart from each other and the rest of the family. Luke kept asking if mybrudderJohn could come.

Since it was around their birthday's I took a list of questions to ask each boy. I have done this for the past 3 years on their birthdays and find the answers to be pretty amusing. Also, since they are with me all the time it was a good way to get conversation going.

I asked Luke after he got home from his dinner with Mark what they talked about and he replied 'grown up stuff'. Mark later explained that Luke talked non-stop for about a half an hour and then looked at Mark and said 'Okay dad, we can talk about grown up stuff now'.

We know that this is just the beginning of these types of issues. But we are praying that by being proactive and creating intentional, purposeful time with each of our boys that we are creating relationships with them that will help equip them to make the right choice in the future. One of our favorite parenting verses is 'a man reaps what he sows'. We have tried to explain this to each boy as it relates to their words, behavior and choices. We are now hoping to show them with our time that we are sowing seeds into our relationships with them that will reap lasting benefits as they become the men God wants them to be.

What have you done in your family to create intentional time with each child individually?

turning the page

2012-02-01T20:54:00.000-05:00

I used to work with a woman who would practically shriek with excitement every time she came into work and got to turn the page on her calendar. It made me roll my eyes every.time she did it. every time. I was always thinking if you are so excited to see what the new month's picture is, why don't you just look ahead of time.

But today, I had some of that optimism in me when I turned the page on our family calendar. I didn't shriek with excitement about the pictures. Since I made the calendar using family photos and I knew what the pictures were going to be, but I was excited about the prospect of a new month. And a tad bit shocked that January was gone so quickly.

February decided to show off today. I can't remember the last time we had weather in the 60's in February, I guess I could look it up but I'm too tired and I'm afraid I'll get distracted by something and not ever come back and finish this post. So I'll just say I can't remember the last time...

The 'little kids' and I had to pick John up from school today as today was his first Lego Club. It is part of an after school enrichment program and meets every Wednesday for the next 6 weeks. He was excited but a little nervous to start it. His biggest concern was that he wasn't sure he would know anyone. As it turns out my friend Judy's son is in the club with him, so I'm hoping it will give me an excuse to see her.

The pick up line was WAY long and so we had some time to kill. ~~Spiderman~~ Luke climbed up through the sun roof and then ordered me to start driving. It took a while to convince him that 1) I couldn't go anywhere because I was in line to get John and 2) I wasn't going to drive with him hanging his head out the sun roof, he would have to wait for prom or some other event to do that.

Luke got bored so he started taking random pictures with my camera. He usually pretends he is Peter Parker but today since he was dressed as Spiderman and didn't have anything on under his costume he had to settle for taking the pictures as Spiderman.

I think our string of nice days may be behind us, but it has been a nice break from the usual winter doldrums to see all this sun.

The other day when the mail came, Luke had a letter from Spiderman. Mark's sister Melanie and her husband Mike sent Luke a Spiderman pendant with his name on it and a note that was from 'Spiderman'. I wish I had taken a picture of his face when I read him the note. He actually believed that it was from the real Spiderman. He was so excited about it that he had to wear it to school to show all his friends.

I was going to write more about what I'm looking forward too in the month of February, but there is a certain little girl who seems to be out of her bed right now. The other night the closet door in her room was left open just a little bit and when I went to check on her, I found her sleeping on the floor on top of a pile of stuff she had taken out of her closet (hello, run on sentence). So I'm going to sign off for now and go check out my girl.

Happy February to you!!

family favorite: chicken pot pie

2012-01-30T15:00:00.000-05:00

Here in the Mid-Atlantic the winter seems loooong. January and February are my two least favorite months, weather-wise. The days are cold, really cold, and windy. We don't see a lot of bright sunny days and if we do it is usually too cold to go outside and play. So this time of year I turn to comfort food. I make a lot of soups and other meals that remind me of my childhood. One of my favorite meals is Chicken Pot Pie.

I got this recipe years ago from my mom, who adapted it from a recipe she got from a friend. I have tweaked my mom's recipe and just love how easy and flavorful this Chicken Pot Pie is. In fact, it is my go to recipe. When I sign up to make a meal for someone 9 times out of 10 I bring this meal. The only time I vary it is in the summer months. I have actually had requests from husbands for me to make this meal for them when they realize I'm scheduled to bring food for their family. And while I like to think I'm a good cook, this recipe is just so easy that anyone can make it.

Chicken Pot Pie

The Ingredients

2 Cups cooked, shredded or diced chicken. I usually use chicken that I have left over from a whole chicken or I cook it in stock using this method. But I have also used rotisserie chicken in a pinch.
1 small onion, diced
2 stalks of celery, diced
2 Cups frozen peas and carrots. You can also use a large can of peas and carrots, but I try not to use canned vegetables because of the high sodium factor and they are the least like fresh out of all your options.
1/2 - 1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp. dried thyme
1/4 Cup butter
1/4 Cup flour
1 to 1 1/2 Cups chicken stock or broth
1 pie crust. You can totally use homemade if you have it but in our house we use the store bought kind

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. In a large pan saute onions and celery in butter over medium heat, until onions are translucent (about 4-5 minutes)
3. Add flour and spices, whisk until combined.
4. Add chicken broth to pan and whisk or stir well. I start with less broth and add more as I stir it, you don't want your pot pie to be too runny when it is finished cooking, so I always add more as I go. Cook until it thickens and begins to bubble / boil.
5. Stir in chicken and peas & carrots. Stir until combined.
6. Taste at this point and adjust your spices and chicken broth if needed.
7. Remove from heat and spoon into pie plate or casserole dish.
8. Cover with pie crust. Crimping the edges so it is completely covered. Cut an X in top to vent.
9. Bake for 25 - 35 minutes, until crust is fully cooked and light brown.

Tips:
- If you are making this to bring to someone I usually bake it until the crust is just done. This way it won't be overdone when they reheat it.
- Since this is the meal I usually make for others, I go to our local party store and buy the metal 'to go' pie plates. They are open stock and cost about $0.65 each (It is totally worth it to locate a party supply store near you that sells these items if you are taking meals to others or maybe just making freezer meals for your family. In the grocery store these pans will cost you about $2 each). This way, there is no worry about returning dishes or anything else for the new mom or family to worry about.
- I have also made the 'filing' and frozen it in a bag or pie plate. Just defrost in fridge overnight and continue with remaining steps.
- If you make it in advance and then cook it later you will need to adjust cooking time. It usually takes about 45 - 50 minutes to cook it if it comes out of the fridge.

I realize looking at these pictures why I'm not a food blogger. In the first picture I didn't include the shredded chicken and I totally forgot to take a picture of the fully baked pie. Oh well.

I serve this with a salad and rolls. My favorite salad is a Caesar Salad. I like the pairing of the garlicky dressing with the mild but flavorful taste of the Chicken Pot Pie. I make my Caesar Dressing using the following recipe that I adapted from this Cooking Light Recipe.

Creamy Caesar Dressing

Ingredients

1 garlic clove, halved
1/2 Cup mayonnaise
2 T vinegar, I use red wine or rice wine
2 tsp dijon mustard
2 T water
1/4 tsp black pepper

1. Drop garlic through opening of blender or food processor while on. Process for about 15 seconds until minced.
2. Add remaining ingredients and process until well blended.
3. Taste and adjust amounts as necessary. I sometimes find I need to add more mayo or water to get the flavor or consistency that I enjoy.
4. Pour into glass jar and refrigerate at least 1 hour. I like to make this the night before, if I can, so the flavors meld but you don't have too.

This is a great dressing to have on hand and I frequently double the recipe so I can use it multiple times during the week.

So that's one of my favorite comfort food meals to make. Please be warned that if you are local and I sign up to make you a meal, this is what you are going to get {smile}.

What is one of your go to meals to make this time of year?

hello there random...

2012-01-27T11:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was not the best day for me. I wasn't necessarily in a bad mood but I certainly had an off day. I'm blaming it on lack of sleep. One of my kids woke me up at 4:30 yesterday and today with bad dreams. I really do hate that he is scared. When he told me his dream, I was so sad that he was scared because it was bad.

I wrote a really negative and whinny post yesterday. I'm so thankful I got interrupted and didn't post it. Not that I want to appear that everything is great all the time, because it's not. But I really hate whining. And I especially hate it when it is coming from me.

I'm also thankful that I put off making a major decision yesterday because I would have made the wrong choice.

I told Mark even a trip to Starbucks for a skinny, vanilla latte and a trip to Staples for unnecessary office supplies didn't help my mood. However, spending time with my favorite superhero loving boy, watching Spiderman videos while dressed as Spiderman did help me {a little bit}. Just to clarify, he was dressed as Spiderman not me...

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We had a family party over the weekend to celebrate all 3 kids birthdays. The kids went to the basement and played while the adults watched football. Between the games the kids opened their presents and then we ate. I made Mexican - it was such a good choice because it was so easy and everybody loves it. The only pictures I took were of the cake.

Luke picked a Spiderman cake (of course) and it was really so he could get a ~~another~~ Spiderman toy. I let him pick the cake because John is having his first friend party in February and will get to pick any cake he wants then. Even after explaining that to both of them and having them agree that it was a good way to do the cakes. John still said 'it wasn't fair' and Luke said 'it's my cake not yours'. I immediately wanted to call my mom and apologize for bickering with my sisters all those years...

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Grace has been doing a lot better with feeding herself at home lately. We are starting with her after school snack and having her feed it to herself. Which means, I put the bite of puree on the spoon for her, she takes the spoon from my hand, put's it into her mouth and then hands me the spoon back. The first time she did it at home everyone cheered. She loved it.

We decided to start with the snack because no one else is eating at that time and there is no time restrictions. I am so pleased with her progress. The picture below was her the other day feeding herself breakfast. Not the healthiest choice but she loves cereal!

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My mood from yesterday is gone. Which is a good thing because said child woke me, Mark and his brother up again this morning with another bad dream. Both boys went back to sleep but neither parent did.

Our hot water heater is broken. I'm hoping it is just the switch mechanism that lights the pilot light since that is out and not that we need a whole new hot water heater.

On the positive side, we have no plans for tonight so we are just going to hang out as a family. I'm trying a new recipe tonight for Orange Chicken, if we like it I will post it. We are also going to have family game night. The boys have gotten some great new games for their birthdays and Christmas so we are having a lot of fun playing board games together.

Hope you all have a great weekend! If you see me tomorrow and I still have a ball cap on, please offer to let me use your shower. My family will thank you...

my birthday girl

2012-01-20T15:13:00.000-05:00

Grace turned five yesterday.

It is so hard to believe. I'm sure it is because she is still so baby-ish in many ways because of her delays. But it is still hard for this mama to wrap her mind around the fact that my baby is five. Which technically means that none of my children are babies. Which makes me sad. And for 1/2 a second I want a baby. really badly. Then I remember that I love to sleep, am no longer twenty five and I totally hate the toddler stage. I think I'll just love on my friends babies.

Yesterday was so much easier for me than Grace's other birthdays. In fact, I would go so far as to say it was a good day. Primarily because God is good and I was granted a measure of peace that has been missing from Grace's other birthdays.

Another reason is was good was because we are seeing more of our little girl everyday. Take these pictures of her playing the piano for instance. She only started doing this a few weeks ago. Prior to that, she never would have used her own hands to play music. She would have guided your hand to the piano for you to play it for her. But now, she plays it for herself every day. And takes pleasure from the music that she is creating. She is enjoying herself.

We have thought for a while that there was more to Grace than was being captured by the various tests used to test her ability and cognitive age. Our struggle remains how do we reach what we know is inside when she doesn't talk or use any form of communication. We still struggle with this, but now we are seeing evidence of what we have only previously guessed was there. We are totally enjoying our daughter's personality as it blossoms.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl. Mommy loves you more than you will ever know.

milestone

2012-01-19T13:46:00.000-05:00

This week marked seven years that I have officially been someone's mom. I say officially, because it was the anniversary of sweet baby John coming into our home. He stole our hearts long before that when he was referred to us and lived in my heart for months after our visit to Guatemala in October of 2004.

I can still remember our trip to pick him up. So many details stand out in my mind with a clarity that is surprising. Surprising because I am sitting here struggling to recall what I had for lunch yesterday however, I remember the sight, smell and feel of holding John for the very first time.

I recall the panic that I experienced when we learned the airport in Guatemala was closed and we would not in fact be picking up our son that day. We arrived the day after, it was a one day air traffic controllers strike.

I recall the outfit I was wearing when we went to the US Embassy in Guatemala City to finalize our paperwork to bring John home. And what he wore too.

I remember riding in a cab through the city, holding John on my lap and praying that we were not going to die on my first day as a mom.

I remember eating at Hacienda Real (my favorite restaurant anywhere) with Mark and John under the stars and thinking that I had never been happier.

I remember holding John as he fell asleep in my arms after hours and hours of him crying and telling him, that I loved him more than he would ever know.

I remember walking into the Atlanta airport and the hearing the customs agent say 'Welcome Home' and wanting to weep or hug him. I'm pretty sure I was crying. And that hugging him wasn't a good idea.

But mostly I remember, being in awe. Of thanking God for giving me this child to parent and praying that I would do a good job. That I would be worthy of the gift I had been given.

I had to beg and plead with him to get him to pose for this picture. It sounds weird he said. I asked him to do it for me. Then I offered him a cupcake and a cookie. But I think the price was totally right to get a picture marking this milestone in our journey as a family.

on my camera...

2012-01-17T08:58:00.000-05:00

Last night I had an awesome night out with the women from our small group. We ate, talked and laughed and it restored my soul. I love these women and am so blessed to have them in my life and our family's lives. It is so fun to have a night out with just women.

After I got home, I sat down to write a blog post. As I downloaded my pictures for that post, I realized that there were almost 100 pictures on my camera card. I did not take that many. Here is a glimpse of what was on my camera...

Evidently, Luke decided to take some pictures with my camera over the weekend. I love how he had his action figures in specific poses and captured some every day moments from our weekend. I have a friend who is jealous of Grace's ability to do the downward dog pose so well and hold it for so long.

I'm going to print some of these out for him and start an album for him. He is also getting a camera for his birthday this weekend when we have a family party. I'm also going to start putting my camera away in a different spot. Up higher. Way up higher so he can't reach it...

random catch up post

2012-01-10T10:00:00.000-05:00

I must say, I am loving January this year. We have been having a lot of fun and our 2012 is off to a really good start. I have been processing a lot so far this year and really do have a lot to say. But for some reason, I haven't been blogging. I'm hoping to change that by doing this catch up post and getting back to regular blogging. I have an organizing series that is knocking around in my brain that I'm planning to start. I'm thinking of linking to a few series already out there instead of hosting a blog series with links on my blog. And I'm going to post my one little word soon. Which I have done for several years. In 2009 I picked present, in 2010 I picked simplify and last year I picked intentional (which it appears, I never blogged about).

For now, here are some pictures from the first nine days of 2012. I just know it's going to be a great year!

Here are some more from Luke's birthday. He got a new Spiderman costume and wears it every day. Literally, every day. We made Spiderman cookies to take to school using these Williams and Sonoma cookie cutters. Mark's mom bought them when they visited in October and they just worked okay. The other super hero's came out better.

We have been having warm weather, which I love. The boys have re-discovered their love of our playset and have been swinging every chance they get. Luke even decided he was going to learn to swing by himself now that he was six and he no longer needs a push to get started. And as you can see, sister loves to swing too!

Grace is turning five next week. I can't believe it. Her personality is coming out in spades this year and she has become this funny, engaging little girl. She is still seriously delayed in ALL areas but she just feels more present these days. We are praying for some big changes for our daughter this year, which I'll post more on another day. Right now we are beginning a major transition for Grace which will allow our family much more freedom in the future.

Sweet friends from church gave us this bed and the super cute butterfly sheets in the fall. Well, Grace has been sleeping in it for the past three nights. I can't begin to tell you what this means to me. We weren't really planning on transitioning her right now since she still fits in her crib. Originally, she was scared and would freeze anytime we put her in it but slowly she began to relax in it. So we decided to just to just go for it and see what would happen. And what happened was she fell asleep and stayed asleep in it all night long. It is so cute to come in in the morning and see my baby girl sleeping in a regular bed.

One of the most limiting factors when traveling with a child with disabilities or special needs is answering 'where will she sleep?' A regular bed is just not safe for some children with intellectual or physical disabilities. Well, as they grow a pack-n-play stops being the answer when they are too tall to fit into one. This is the case with Grace, last year we had her sleep in a pack-n-play and she was really too big for it. My fear was that we were going to have to say no to trips away or vacations where we couldn't rent a full size crib for Grace. So the fact that she is transitioning easily into her big girl bed, means that our family will have the freedom to do the things that we want to do and not have to worry about 'where will she sleep?' It is so much easier to bring bed rails than it is to bring a full size crib.

So as you can see our first days of 2012 have been great. How about yours? Is 2012 shaping up to be a good year for you?

happy birthday luke!!!

2012-01-01T15:25:00.000-05:00

Six years ago today, January 1, 2006, my sweet, kind, wonderful and loving second son was brought into this world. I did not know it until five days later when the adoption agency called to tell us we had a boy! I still remember the call, the first glimpse of his precious picture and the instant longing in my heart and physical ache of my arms to hold him.

Happy Birthday sweet boy!! Mommy loves you more than you will ever know...

goodbye december and 2011

2011-12-31T15:06:00.000-05:00

As we get ready to bid goodbye to 2011, I wanted to do one final december post. I love {love} all the year in review, photo review and best posts of the year review posts. Unfortunately, I don't think I have it in me to do that today. So my year in review post may follow later in the week, or not.

We have done some fun family stuff in the past few weeks and I wanted to make sure I noted it all here on the blog. Since this has really become my family scrapbook.

Luke has his Christmas party on the 23rd and I was so happy to be a part of planning and organizing it. I love doing homeroom mom stuff (it's okay to call me a dork!).

Here he is decorating his goody bag.

Another craft was to decorate a wooden ornament, tree or star. Luke immediately picked up the ornament and began coloring it. There should be NO surprise as to what he decorated it to look like...

Here he is with Mrs. M his kindergarten teacher. I can't say enough great things about her. We love her!!

This week we met our small group and went bowling. It was the kids first time bowling and they had a blast. I haven't been in so long I can't remember the last time I bowled. It was a really fun time! I kept Grace in her stroller the whole time we bowled. I felt really bad about it but it just isn't safe to have her walking around in that environment. It was exceptionally hard to get good pictures inside the bowling alley. But here are a few...

The highlight of the boys Christmas vacation may very well be dog sitting my parents dog. They LOVE Sam The Dog. She came and stayed overnight on Wednesday and I must say it was fun having a dog in the house. I grew up with a dog and really love dogs. I'm just not ready to commit to becoming a dog parent right now. However, we are seriously contemplating a therapy dog for Grace. I just need to do some research on it. Sam is a really good girl and seemed to enjoy her stay with us.

Mark had to go back to work on Thursday and so yesterday we went to Longwood Gardens with friends. It was a great day to be outside and the boys got to run around for a few hours.

And that's a wrap on our last few weeks of December. Mark is working tonight, so I am taking the kids to our friends house for a New Year's Eve party. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with friends and eating lots of yummy food. I am also looking forward to spending some time reflecting on 2011 and planning for an awesome 2012.

I pray that 2011 has been a good year for you and that you find yourself looking expectantly towards 2012. That you were able to recognize the blessings that God has placed in your life, that you have triumphed where you didn't know that you could and that you have loved well those that God has placed in your life. I will leave you with one of my favorite blessings in the bible. It is a blessing given by the priests to the Israelites and is found in Numbers 6:24 - 26 (I added the word may);

May the LORD bless you
   and keep you;
May the LORD make his face shine on you
   and be gracious to you;
May the LORD turn his face toward you
   and give you peace.

christmas 2011

2011-12-30T13:14:00.000-05:00

We had a really great Christmas this year. In the weeks leading up to Christmas I found myself slowing down. Unplugging. Lowering expectations. We did less than we did in years past but the activities were more fun and we were more focused on them. Also, I focused more on the people that mean the most to me. My family and friends. It was worth it. Not only did my kids have a great Christmas, but so did I.

We give our kids 3 presents on Christmas. This is so very loosely based on the idea of the wisemen giving Jesus 3 presents on the first Christmas. We like the idea of having a tangible way to tie their gift receiving to Jesus's birthday. However, that's as far as it goes. There is no more thought behind it than our kids have WAY too much as it is and all of our kid's birthdays fall within about 6 weeks of Christmas so we are uninitiated with toys and gifts this time of year.

Every year I put a little bit of pressure on myself, since we 'only' give three gifts, to get it right. I find myself almost holding my breath as the kids open their gifts. In years past there have been some gifts that seemed like a great idea but went over like a lead balloon. But this year, we got it right. The boys love all their presents.

I didn't take many pictures of the present opening part of Christmas. I wanted to be present. To be able to experience their excitement not just see it through my lens. Here are a few pictures I did take,

Mark's parents bought us a Wii for Christmas and I wanted to do something fun instead of just wrapping up the Wii. So, the last gift the boys opened was two Wii remotes. They just looked at them and said, 'we don't have a Wii'. Then we sent them downstairs to our basement where Mark and Tad had set the Wii up last night. We got it all on video and it was classic. The stuff that great Christmas memories are made of. I love a good surprise!

This is where the boys would have spent their entire Christmas vacation if I let them. Down in our unfinished, unheated basement playing Wii games. They are so happy.

I only broke down once this Christmas. We let Grace sleep in and we finally heard her once the boys were almost done with all their gifts. Since she doesn't participate in any situation, the boys opened her gifts for her. I was in the kitchen taking my faux cinnamon rolls out of the oven and just starting crying. It was so unexpected but I all of the sudden was so very sad. I had a brief (but good) cry on Mark's shoulder and then went back to join the boys. Thankfully, my joy in being with my family was only tinged briefly with sadness this year.

Overall, Christmas 2011 will down in the books as a great one. But I'm done with it. I'm ready to take the tree down and move on to the next event in our family, Luke's New Year's Day birthday. I have a few more posts about our Christmas to put up before I wrap up the year, but I'm ready for 2012. How about you?

decorating cookies

2011-12-24T12:32:00.000-05:00

This year I seem to be fitting all of our tradition holiday stuff into the last few days before Christmas. I'm determined to pack it all in and fill up my Christmas memory bank. One thing that takes me back to my childhood is decorating cookies. My sisters and I used to do this every year with my mom. Now that I'm a mom I realize (and appreciate) just how much work goes into making it seem fun for the kids.

We use this sugar cookie recipe from Amanda at i am baker. It is so yummy and easy to work with. The boys could not stop eating the dough as we were trying to roll it out and make the cut outs.

John takes his baking very seriously. He likes to see how many cookies he can get from his dough. He kept trying to 'beat his score'.

Luke, on the other hand. Cut out a few cookies and then covered Thomas in flour and ~~not so secretly~~ ate the rest of his dough before leaving the table all together.

My super cute helpers...

Then came the fun part. Decorating. John has graduated to decorating very precisely and carefully. Luke is still subscribes to the the more icing and sprinkles piled on the better theory. As you can see from their finished projects below.

Luke decorated these two cookies, ate one and then left. He is nothing if not sure of what he wants to do and not do. John decorated about 6, ate his star, declared it wasn't fair that Luke was playing and he had to do all the work so he too left me in the kitchen to decorate the remaining cookies. I decided that since I prefer my sugar cookies plain so do most people and therefore left half of them without icing. Too bad, I keep having to 'try' the cookies and we may not have enough left for dessert tonight!

some of my favorite things...

2011-12-20T14:18:00.000-05:00

WARNING: This post may contain random information and thoughts. Please don't get dizzy by this post. Just be happy you are not living in my brain right now...

I can not believe that Christmas is five days away. I'm feeling ready but a ~~lot~~ little disorganized. Not stressed but just disorganized about Christmas. Oh and Luke's birthday, which is New Year's Day.

*****

The boys had a ~~fight~~ discussion yesterday at breakfast that went something like this;

L: John, I win. My birthday is first.
J: Yeah. But you'll always be younger than me.
L: Still I'm the winner. You loose. I'm first.
J: I'm older.
L: But your second.

Then my head exploded off my body and they stopped arguing about it...

*****

I am happy to say that I mailed most of our Christmas cards today. That is a good feeling! I have really been enjoying all the Christmas / Year End letter people include with their cards. I thought for half a second about doing that this year and then realized that would have pushed me over the edge and caused me to stress out. So I'm officially thinking about it for next year.

*****

We took our kids to see a local house that has a HUGE Christmas light display. It is so cool. The lights are synchronized with songs on the radio (they have a sign and you turn your radio to a certain station). It was amazing. And we did it spontaneously. I'm serious. For those of you who don't know me in real life, I'm not spontaneous. I like to do things that my kids think are spontaneous but I really plan everything. So Mark was a little shocked when I looked at him at 6:30 on Sunday and said 'come on let's go'. It was really fun! The only down side was I forgot my camera. Here's a link to their web site, Christmas Light Crazy and picture from their site. If you are local it is totally worth it.

*****

This is one of my absolute favorite things about this time of year!!

The bowl was for Grace, the spoon in the container for me. We may or may not have eaten the whole thing in 2 days and now I need to buy more. But I'm afraid to buy it because it is my favorite ice cream.

*****

John wore this hat to school the other day. I asked him to pose in front of the tree and love that he stood right in front of the ornament of him as a baby. I made that ornament for the Christmas (2004) that wasn't celebrated at our house because his adoption got delayed and he did not spend his first Christmas with us.

*****

Here is a picture of Grace from dinner the other night. This is how she sits as I feed her every bite of her meals. I can't believe she won't even touch the spoon at home, when I have seen her feed herself at both school and therapy.

*****

This picture just cracks me up! Luke made this at his friend Brandon's house.

So are you ready for Christmas or Chanukah?

Happy Tuesday to you!

this week...

2011-12-15T14:54:00.000-05:00

...has been super busy. The sort of busy that comes with the count down to Christmas. And I love it! We are high on the magic of the Christmas season here at our house.

Every day the boys tell me how many days we have left until Christmas. Thanks to our advent calendars or as the boys call them, the count down calendars. In fact, when we hung the one that they put a different ornament on the tree each day, I heard 'john, luke, john, luke, john, luke, ...' then 'luke, john, luke, john, luke, john,...' followed by 'Luke, you can go first!' Gotta love that Christmas spirit.

*****

I ordered our cards last week and they came in this week. I'm so excited to send them out. I love Christmas cards. I love everything about them. Sending them. Receiving them. Displaying them. Comparing them to last year's. I know that some people are cutting back and not sending cards. But this is one tradition from my childhood that I'm keeping. I used pictures from our family photo shoot with the lovely and talented Jessica Zubrod. I'm hoping to have them all in the mail by Saturday.

*****

On Monday, I was able to go visit Grace's classroom. I spent about 2 hours with her and her class and was able to observe her doing some really cool things. When I first got there, she acted happy to see me. Oh the sweet JOY that this brought me. It hardly seems like a big deal or even worth mentioning, but for Grace it is big. Her teacher, Deb, showed me several toys that Grace loves. One in particular that she seems to prefer is one where you put the car on top so it slides down. This is a pretty new skill for Grace. In the past she has not played appropriately with any toys and I have a basement full of cause and effect toys to prove it. So the fact that she is playing with a toy the way it is supposed to be played with is huge. I loved watching her put the car on the top and follow it sliding down with her eyes.

I'm now on the hunt for this toy, let me know if you see one or can find it online anywhere. It doesn't have a name on it so it is hard for me to find. I searched ebay under their vintage Fisher Price toys and came face to face with all the toys of my childhood. Yikes!!

Grace also had snack time during my visit. I was able to see her walk to the lunch room, get into her seat unassisted and feed herself her snack. Yup! She uses a spoon to feed herself her snack at school. Sister really can do this, she just doesn't want to at home. We gotta get her want to fixed.

I was also able to observe music time. It was so fun! All the kids really lit up during this time. Music really is one of Grace's favorite things. Her PT came in to work with her during music and had Grace sit on a T stool. She didn't really like that because it works her core and makes her balance but she did it.

She also really enjoyed playing the drum during class.

Evidently, Grace prefers to use the big drum by herself. They think it has to do with the feedback she gets from her hands and the sound when more than one person is banging on the big drum. I walked with Grace to the gym for her gym time but had to leave after that to go get Luke. It was so fun to see her in action and meet all of the caring people that work at her school. They do a tremendous job with our daughter. I am in awe of them and was really choked up driving home. Her school continues to be such a blessing to our family.

*****

Luke was going through his closet looking for some toy that he misplaced and instead came out of his room dressed like this;

Of course, we were late for school because he didn't want to change out of his dinosaur costume. He is always entertaining himself in some way. He eventually took the costume off for school but put it on again to eat lunch.

*****

Today was his Christmas Program at school. I was sad going to it because it will be our last Christmas program at this school. We have had kids at this school for four years and now we are done. I hate to even think about that. His class did really well today and the program was super short so I think that helped. Luke loves to wave to me from the stage and today was no exception. I love that!

I didn't get any really great pictures but here are a few good ones.

*****

I am hoping to start my Christmas baking tomorrow. My goal is to get the sugar cookie dough made so the kids and I can bake and decorate cookies this weekend. I'm also hoping to finish up with my Christmas shopping tomorrow. I still have a few small things to buy the boys.

fireplace reveal

2011-12-08T20:15:00.000-05:00

When we bought this house almost 5 years ago, we decided it had about 90% of our must haves in a house and so we bought it. We have not been disappointed. We love this house and the neighborhood. This fall we got one of those must haves installed and we are loving it.

My husband loves a wood burning fireplace. Our house had a gas fireplace, which we never used. It was pretty but not really our tastes and it was expensive to use. We have a two story family room and the previous owners had a full chimney installed. So we were able to have our gas fireplace replaced by a new wood burning stove insert.

I really never did figure out how to decorate that mantle either. I had pictures of the kids leaning up there and some wooden candle sticks but it was always lacking something. Some sort of height was needed but it was always on my list of things to get to.

So we went from this,

To this,

We went with a layered stone, blue stone raised hearth and a barn wood mantle stained in light cherry. And we love it! It is amazing how much it changes the look of our living room. The unit we got installed heats like a furnace so we haven't really had to use our heat yet this year. I do run it in the mornings to take the chill off when the kids are getting up and ready for school but not during the day. We are of course using a lot of wood.

Here is another view with more of our family room showing. I just love how it adds texture and interest to that wall. I still need help with mantle decorating. Right now it is decked out for Christmas. So we have decided to live with it for a while until inspiration hits me. I'm trolling pintrest and design magazines for inspirations right now.

We are so happy with our decision to redo our fireplace. I know a lot of people love a gas fireplace for the ease of it, but I guess we are just real wood fire kind of people.

What would you do with our mantle? What is your go to source for decorating tips or inspiration?

Oh and I guess, you've noticed my blog facelift. I decided I needed a change and had the pleasure of working with Amanda at Royal Daughter Designs. She was so sweet and easy to work with. I love the new look she gave my blog. If you are thinking of updating your blog, I recommend you check out Amanda's work, she does a really great job!

deck the halls

2011-12-04T20:27:00.001-05:00

Our Christmas Tree is up and decorated! I just love our tree. It is a 12 foot artificial that we bought four years ago when we moved into this house. I used to think fake trees were tacky. We always, always had a real tree growing up. In fact, my parents still go to the same Christmas tree farm that they took us to as kids. However, we now have a two story family room and so we decided to go artificial. I'm so glad we did. It ~~sure looks~~ is easy to put up and there is no mess.

I'm not loving our star on the top of the tree. But John said, all Christmas trees have to have a star on top so we are using an old tree topper from when we bough 6 foot trees. I'm hoping to find a much larger star with lights for the top.

Here are the annual hanging the first ornament pictures.

I'm going to spare you and not post the ones of them wrestling or fighting or crying during the ornament hanging. I'm sure you can picture those happy memories in your minds...

My parents neighbor bought Grace an angel ornament from Guatemala when she first came home. I just love it! This year, the ornament is even more special because Mrs. C went home to be with the Lord this summer.

We always have Grace hang this ornament. Which really means that one of us holds the ornament and forces Grace to stand by the tree while we hang it up. This year, sister helped a little bit more than last year. But one was enough. After that picture she split.

I'm pretty much done decorating the rest of the house. I can't decide what to do with our new mantle (picture of our before and after fireplace re-do coming this week). I'm trying to 'shop' my existing stock of Christmas stuff but I may be forced to go buy some new decorations for our mantle. I know, I know, the things I do for my family...

Up next, Christmas cards, Christmas present shopping, holiday baking and more. And the kids are asking when we are having our gingerbread house contest. So much fun to look forward to! I love this time of year.

How about you? Are you finished decorating your house? Buying presents? Baking? Did you send out your cards yet?

hello, december...

2011-12-01T13:13:00.000-05:00

It is hard to believe that it is December 1st. In some ways the retail marketers pushing black Friday and cyber Monday make it seem later in the month than just the first. I was talking to a friend today and we both feel a little rushed and a little behind regarding Christmas. Which is totally crazy because it is only December 1st. On the other hand, in some ways I want to shout 'WAIT! How can it be December 1st already.' That means almost a whole year has gone by. I'm searching my heart and my to do lists to see - did I get 'enough done' this year? Did I intentionally use 2011 as much as I wanted to? Those are thoughts and musings for another post...

We had a lovely Thanksgiving in West Virginia. The kids all had a blast with their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It was so much fun to have everyone together again. Here is our annual cousins picture. I think it turned out pretty good this year. It's not easy getting all 13 kids together at the same time, let alone getting them all to look and smile at the camera.

We came home to some really nice weather on Saturday. So Mark decided to put up the outside Christmas lights on Sunday and Monday. The boys wanted to help. Which means, they played outside while Mark worked.

Luke decided that just sitting on the ladder wasn't enough fun. So he began jumping off. Since I had my camera out anyway, I took some pictures of him jumping.

He really got some air on some of these jumps. He was also webbing as he flew through the air. He is always thinking like spiderman...

Notice, how you can see Mark working in the background of this picture hanging the lights on our pear tree. John thought it looked like a fun idea. So he too, got into the action and jumped off the ladder.

John focused on creativity. And actually planned what he was going to do in mid-air.

Eventually, dad realized he was the only one not having any fun. So Mark took a turn jumping off the ladder too.

Thankfully, all our outside lights are now up and they look really good. Additionally, no one was hurt by jumping off the ladder. As I was posting this I realized that this may not look like the safest activity for kids to do, let alone be encouraged by their parent to do. But the ladder was on super level ground and our boys jump off everything.

I just love this time of year when everything sparkles with lights. The kids are full of anticipation of Christmas. I am trying to slow our family down and do some intentional study of this advent season. I've found a few on line resources that I'm going to explore more and then post here. I really want to make sure our family celebrates Jesus as the center of our Christmas and the presents second. Which is particularly hard in our society but I'm going to give it my best shot.

Happy December to you!

over the river and through the woods...

2011-11-23T08:38:00.000-05:00

We have been fighting sickness here for the past week. Grace caught a cold and it hit her hard. Last weekend all she wanted was to be held or to lay around. It was pathetic. She is feeling much better, but mama got nothing done for about 5 days. And, I secretly loved it. I don't enjoy when my baby's are sick but I do love that they need me. Since they are getting older, the snuggles are few and far between. But there is something about not feeling well that just sends kids into their mom's arms.

So we've been laying low this past week. I have a bunch of pictures to share but my computer and my camera cable don't like each other right now, so those will have to wait.

We are in the last stages of packing for our annual Thanksgiving trip to Mark's parent's house. This will be my 14th Thanksgiving with his family. The kids are beyond excited! The boys woke up at 6:30 asking if it was time to go yet.

Mark's family does Thanksgiving right. They gather as many family members as they can into one house and we eat, drink, sleep, eat, watch football, eat, play football, sleep and then eat some more. It is casual and fun! The kids love the time with their cousins. Last year one of Mark's cousins brought his pet squirrel to dinner. I kid you not! It was a wild baby squirrel that he rescued and kept in the hood of his sweatshirt. I'm not sure there will be as much excitement this year but I will certainly let you know if there is. My only regret from last year is that I didn't take one picture of the squirrel. I'm not sure why but I really wish I could post a picture of it here.

Instead, I'm posting pictures that have no other home. We were playing outside not too long ago and Luke was playing with his shadow and John was playing with dirt. I kind of like these pictures, so I put them in this post with no real theme.

I'm hoping to get back to regular blogging after Thanksgiving. I have a few ideas swirling around in my brain and need to get them out on paper so I can use that space in my brain for other things. Does that ever happen to you? That you need to get an idea or story out of your head or you just have no peace from it?

Wishing all of you a very a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

feeding therapy update

2011-11-17T20:58:00.000-05:00

Grace has been in feeding therapy since March. We have gone pretty much every week for about 8 months now. In that time, she has made some progress. But truthfully, not the advances I had hoped for. Our original goals were; 1. Grace would feed herself, 2. Grace would drink liquids from a cup and 3. Grace would eat regular foods instead of pureed foods.

At this point, she has accomplished the goal of drinking liquids. She will now take drinks from a cup during her meals. I wouldn't say that she is really getting very much liquid, not nearly the amount a typical almost 5 year old child would. But she will drink from a cup when you present it to her during her snack and meals. She doesn't hold the cup for herself but still she drinks from it.

She will also feed herself during therapy and at school. She is not really fully self feeding but she will take the spoon from her therapist, bring it to her mouth, take a bite and hand it back to her. She also does this at school on a limited basis. Which is huge progress from when we started therapy. At home. Not so much. She will not feed herself at home at all.

Really. Not one bite. She will sometimes take the spoon from me but typically throws it at me or on the floor. I have talked to Michelle about this and she has no advice. It is, once more, pretty typical of Grace. If she wants to do something she will. Evidently, feeding herself at home is not on her 'want to' list right now.

However, feeding daddy IS on her list. The other night, I put her on the island for her snack and she ate a few crackers. Mark sat down and was eating with her. All of the sudden, she picked up a cracker and instead of putting it in her mouth she fed him.

It was so cute! And sister was quite intent on her task.

Since Grace has achieved a level of self feeding at therapy, we are now starting on her next goal. Eating regular foods. She has been eating bites of a cereal bar during therapy for a few weeks now. Again not so much at home. So now we are moving onto pasta during therapy. Tomorrow is the big day. Hopefully, she will 'feel like' eating pasta during her session.

give thanks

2011-11-14T16:57:00.000-05:00

I love this time of year. We are less than two weeks away from Thanksgiving. The leaves are changing and falling. The weather here ~~can't make up it's mind~~ is changing. As we gaze into December on the calendar we see Christmas. Our family's favorite holiday. And then we roll right into birthday season for all our kids in January and February.

This will be the 14th Thanksgiving that I have gone to West Virginia with Mark to spend time with his family. His entire family. Between his parents, his sisters their husbands and their kids, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins and a few friends there is typically over 50 people gathered at his sister's house. It is crazy fun and the kids have an absolute blast. We start talking about our trip to WV in September and the kids get excited to see their cousins. However, I realized, we don't spend much time talking about why we get together.

Since we don't host or even for that matter make/bring anything to Thanksgiving dinner, we don't really focus on the reason behind the gathering. We just focus on the gathering part of the holiday. This year, I didn't want Thanksgiving to go by without being more intentional about it.

I also think it is our job as parents to help our kids learn an attitude of gratitude. That we need to teach them how to respond to situations with thankfulness instead of comparing what we have or don't have to others. This year, I wanted to help my boys, now 7 and 5, to think about what being thankful means. So I borrowed an idea I have seen around different blogs for several years. The concept of a thankful 'tree'. It has been done in many ways but the one I liked the most was a large 'tree' with cut out leaves to write what you are thankful for on and then tape to the tree.

I'm somewhat embarrassed to even post pictures because our tree looks so funny. But I never did claim to be an artist. In fact, I had this idea completed for several days before we implemented and was so stuck on making my tree look perfect that we didn't start when I wanted too. Isn't that ridiculous! I hate when I get all stuck in my perfectionist mode and miss an opportunity...

Anyway, we painted our pantry door with chalkboard paint years ago. So I just drew a tree in chalk on the door and cut out some leaves with my cricuit (you could totally do it by hand and even have your kids help you cut out leaves but as I already told you, I was stuck in perfectionist mode). We have a pile of leaves on our counter (I resist the urge to put them in a pretty basket but it bothers me every time I walk by the pile. Instead of putting them in a basket, I straighten the pile). The kids write or tell me what to write what they are thankful for that day and we then tape the leaves to the tree.

I'm not sure they are being as thoughtful about what they are thankful for as I was hoping. But I think things like this evolve as we do them. And a lot of times, things like this go better in my head than in real life. The boys really like this idea and remind me every night that we get to write on our leaves. I'm hoping to translate this into our everyday life somehow. I've thought of incorporating it into our dinner conversations or prayer time at night.

As we are thick into the 'it's not fair' stage of parenting, I'm hoping to find a lasting way to help my boys be thankful. This give thanks tree seems to be a starting point for our family. What are you doing to help your kids remember to be thankful and cultivate an attitude of gratitude?

outside looking in

2011-11-10T20:46:00.000-05:00

Our weather has been so nice lately. It is incredible to me that the kids were playing outside in shorts and t-shirts this week. Since it has been so nice out, we have been taking a lot of walks recently.

The other day, John rode his bike and Luke took his scooter on our walk. It is such an everyday occurrence that Luke is dressed as Spiderman that I often forget that it may be surprising to others. We got stopped by a lot of our neighbors on this walk. Which was nice, since it had been a while since I had seen some of them.

Mark worked this past weekend and so I took the kids to a new-ish park by our house. We have driven by it for a few weeks but never stopped to play. Luke went there with his friend Brandon and really enjoyed it, so we decided to go. The playground is really fun. It is designed to look like an old barn. There are hay bale stairs on one side and mushroom stairs on the other. The other sides have rope ladders, rock walls or other climby things to use to get into the barn. There are a few slides which are fun and lots of ramps on the upper levels. There is tire swing set off to the side and a few benches for parents to sit on. Overall, the boys loved the park.

The only problem was, there was nothing for Grace to play with or on. She can only use regular stairs at this point. So the super cool hay bales were out, as where the mushrooms spaced too far apart for her to navigate. I was physically unable to carry her inside because there was no regular stairs or entrance into the 'barn' and therefore she couldn't use the slides, which she loves. She also needs a regular swing, but there wasn't one. The tire swing was okay and I did put her on it. But I was so concerned she would fall off that she didn't get to do that too long. And sister loves to swing.

The boys loved the playground. The had so much fun. In fact, Grace had fun too. But then again, Grace always has fun. She walked around the barn chasing her brothers and the other kids. We call her life's bystander, since so much of life is beyond her reach. She is content to just observe and enjoys watching other kids play.

Me. I did not have fun. This playground made me angry. This playground made me sad. This playground set my daughter apart, it made her play outside of the area where all the other kids were playing. I am by no means an activist. I do not think that we are owed anything because my daughter has disabilities. I try very hard to fit our 'special' family into the normal/typical world. But as I watched my special needs child walk around the structure instead of in or on it, I was angry. In this day and age of disabilities and special needs, did no one think of a ramp? Or a regular set of steps into the playground? Was no thought given to the fact that some kids need a regular swing? And not just children with disabilities, this playground excludes all kids who are not great climbers (I would say anyone under 2 or 2 1/2).

It is true, I chose to go there and can choose to not go there again. No one is forcing me to use this playground. But, I have other children than just Grace. My boys really liked this playground. We like to go to playgrounds as a family. As we left, the boys said 'I can't wait to come back here and play'. I was very sad to tell them that we may not come back because there was nothing for Grace to do. They were surprised to hear me say that, but they were so busy playing with each other they did not notice Grace was just walking around instead of playing on the playground.

At this point, I'm not sure what to do with my feelings. It has taken me almost a week to write this post. I am in many ways still processing the long term implications of my feelings. I have decided that I am going to contact the township and find out if they are planning on adding anything to this playground or if the 'barn' structure is it. What I will do from there, I do not know. I am still saddened by my visit to this playground and sad for my daughter. Even though Grace did not know she was being excluded, I know it. And my job is to fight for her since she can't fight for herself.

happy friday y'all!

2011-11-04T15:27:00.000-04:00

I'm so happy that it is Friday. We don't have any real plans for this weekend and it is just what I need. I also don't think we are expecting any freak snow storms, so we should be able to enjoy our days. Actually, the boys enjoyed the snow it was just waaaaay to early in the season for me.

One thing I've had on my personal to do list for over a year is learn to use my camera's manual setting for picture taking. This past summer, I moved that goal up and decided to do something about it. I read a few books and just starting playing around with my camera. I would not say that I have it all figured out. I really have no idea what I'm doing, I just fool with the settings and keep snapping pictures until it turns out. I want to get better at predicting what settings I should use in what light and all that but for now, I'm pretty pleased with what I'm doing.

This is one of the first pictures I took in manual and love what it expresses. Here are some other recent pictures I took with my camera on the manual setting.

And I love these two, because I can see my progress in adjusting the settings and getting 'it'. It is pretty much the same picture but the first one is way washed out and the second one is with the right settings.

As you can see, I still have a ways to go but it feels good to make progress on a goal. I'd love to take a photography class or sit with a photographer and have them teach me more. But for now, I just wing it.

What plans do you have for this weekend? Have you recently made progress toward a goal? I'd love to hear from you.

I hope you have a great weekend!

goodbye october

2011-11-02T19:30:00.000-04:00

Here in the mid-atlantic states we had snow over the weekend. It was not much snow in our little area, most of the snow landed in the north east states. We had just enough snow to play in and build some tiny snowmen.

The boys love to play in the snow, so they were super excited about it. Me, not so much. I stayed inside with Grace where the fire was warm.

I am homeroom mom in Luke's little kindergarten class and his Halloween party was Monday. It was so fun to be in his class and see all the kids. I love being homeroom mom. It is something I have always wanted to do and am so glad that I have this opportunity. Here are some pictures from his party.

The kids trick and treated with our same friends as last year. This year John was the black Spiderman and John was the regular Spiderman (no surprise there) and their friend Joe was the guy from scream with fake blood in his mask (ewwww!). Mark took the boys out around our neighborhood while Judy, Grace and I handed out candy. Grace dressed as Ariel but I forgot to take her picture but it is the same costume as she wore here.

We are looking forward to the holidays that November and Christmas bring. However, our weather can't make up it's mind. Today it was 60 and the kids played outside without jackets.

mummy pizza {tutorial}

2011-10-29T13:58:00.000-04:00

If you've read my blog for a while you know our family loves Respite Night at our church. For those of you that are new, our church provides free child care to any family with a special needs child on the 2nd Saturday of the month. They always have a ton of fun activities for the kids to do. It is so nice that this night focuses on the siblings and not just the child with disabilities.

In October they made mummy pizzas. The boys thought they were the best things in the world and begged to make them at home. A few weeks ago we made the pizzas and they were fun and easy. Here is step by step how to make your own mummy pizzas at home.

First, gather your ingredients.

Frozen Dough Rolls - look for these in the freezer section (obviously) and make sure you buy the dough not the already cooked rolls.
Pasta or Pizza Sauce
String Cheese
Black Olives or Pepperoni - for eyes

Preheat your oven to 350.

Lay out the rolls on a baking sheet for about 30 minutes.

Next gather some really cute helpers and give them some flour to put on the table in front of them. The dough is really sticky so you want to put flour on your hands and a little on the table where you will be rolling it out.

Take the bread dough and roll it in the flour. Then press it out into the size and shape you want. It is pretty elastic and is easy to work with. Keep in mind it will shrink up a little in the oven so these are going to be small individual pizzas.

Spread your pizza with a little sauce. Apparently, the boys did this at respite night with the back of a spoon. I guess that is the easiest way to ensure there is not a total mess in the room when you are working with 15 kids in a church. They kept insisting on doing it this way at home and told me I did mine wrong when I used the front of a spoon.

Then tear your string cheese into pieces lengthwise and then in half. Put these around in a square shape and then add eyes. The picture below shows you our pizza with the pepperoni for eyes. Note: no one likes black olives so we used pepperoni, they will look more like mummy faces if you use olives.

Once all your mummys are made, put them on a cookie sheet and bake for about 10-12 minutes. I would watch them after 10 minutes because you don't want them to get too brown. As you can see not all of ours were mummy faces.

Cool for a few minutes and then enjoy!

These were easy and fun to make. John and Luke really enjoyed 'teaching' Mark and I how to make these. I have been baking with the kids since they were little and this was a good reminder that they are old enough to start cooking with me too.

Let me know if you try them and how they work out.

hello friday...

2011-10-28T15:10:00.000-04:00

Can you believe October is almost over?!? I can't. Our month has gone by at warp speed and I seem to have neglected my little corner of the blogsphere. I hope this post will catch you up a little on our doings these past few weeks. As we have been having a lot of fun participating in our fall activities and enjoying these days of warm weather.

You can't tell from this photo but sister had just thrown a major hissey fit. She loves {loves} to swing and just as passionately hates to get off the swing. Well, her brothers 'called' the swings so dad got her off to let Luke on. Big mistake. Huge. In Mark's defense he didn't know she would react that way. In order to appease our little princess, she was placed on the glider. Which she equally loves, because it is basically just a larger swing. She was swinging herself by making the glider go back and forth with her arms.

You can see the JOY on her face at swinging in this shot pretty clearly (and the snot from the previously mentioned hissey fit! I need to figure out how to erase that bit from her face because I just love this picture of her). It is always fun to see Grace do typical childhood things, like swinging by herself. Because she just doesn't do age appropriate typical things very often. Or ever.

John's soccer season ends tomorrow. Well, I should say it is supposed to end tomorrow. Our weather forecast is calling for either rain or snow tomorrow morning, so we are not sure he will play his game. His team is not very good. At all. They haven't scored a goal and therefore haven't won a game this season. I feel particularly bad for the coach. He is such a nice guy and runs his practices really well. I think we just have timid players or something.

One of our favorite fall things is roasted pumpkin seeds. They are totally yummy and super easy to make. My kids devour them in minutes. It is hardly called a recipe, but in case you have never tried to roast pumpkin seeds this is what I do.

Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkin Seeds
Olive Oil
Sea Salt

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Rinse seeds under water. You want to make sure you clean them really well. If you leave any of the pumpkin stringy stuff on your seeds, your seeds will taste like the inside of the pumpkin.

3. Dry and place on lined baking tray. I use my Silpat liner which I've had forever, but you can use parchment paper or just spray the baking tray with cooking spray.
4. Drizzle with Olive Oil. I drizzle enough on to coat each seed and mix it with my hands.
5. Sprinkle with Sea Salt, generously. We like salt in this house!
6. Bake in oven for 13-15 minutes. You want to watch them after 13 minutes to make sure they do not get over cooked. They should be lightly brown when you take them out.

7. Enjoy! It is that simple and so yummy. I had to 'test' a few before I let the kids know they were ready. I'm nice like that :)

I've been having a few 'can't see the forest for the trees' days lately. I think sometimes it just stinks to be a special needs mom. Well, actually, I know it stinks to be a special needs mom. However, most days I stand firmly in the the land of acceptance having fought really hard through the stages of grief about Grace's disabilities. I don't even think anything specific happened, I think it is just a phase that I am going through and probably will continue to go through as Grace gets older. With all that said, I'm really looking forward to this weekend. Mark isn't working, which means he will be home from about 5:00pm tonight until Tuesday morning. I love it when he has a weekend off!

It will do my spirits good to have him home and for us to do stuff as a family. Which typically means that I'll say on Sunday 'I need to 'pop' out to the store by myself for a few minutes'. This weekend I do legitimately need to go to a craft store, which takes me literally hours to shop in because I have to up and down every aisle even if I find what I need the minute I walk in the door. (hello, run on sentence) I guess one of the reasons I love having him home is because he not only can but will watch the kids for me so I can 'pop' out by myself for a few ~~minutes~~ hours.

Besides John's game and church, we don't really have anything on our schedule. Which feels right for this last weekend of October. We are going to build a fire and hang in tonight. I know that there will be some baking, cooking and crafting going on but other than that we will just go with the rhythm of the weekend.

What are your weekend plans? Has the weather started to change where you live?

i am a runner

2011-10-25T15:37:00.000-04:00

I am a runner. I have not always run but I think of myself as a runner nonetheless. It all started in my twenties. Well, my athletic days started in childhood. I am the 'athlete' of the family. I am the one who not only participated in sports in High School and College, but excelled in sports. However, after college I started working and didn't have as many opportunities to be athletic. Then the stress of trying to prove myself at work and a bad break up with my boyfriend led me to hit the pavement.

What started out as a way to burn off energy quickly became very therapeutic. I continued to run through out my twenties and early thirties. I loved it. I may or may not have become slightly obsessed with running and at one point would run an hour a day. Every day. I was also running races most weekends. I ran 5Ks, 10Ks and the occasional half marathon. I even competed in triathlons but didn't excel at those because the bike was my weakest leg.

All of the sudden, I stopped. I got a small injury and I wasn't recovering from it. I was told to rest it and that's what I did. I tried picking up running again here and there. But it was never the same. I was busy being a newly wed. Busy trying to start our family. Then busy raising our growing family. It was just not something I made a point to fit into my life. I think secretly, I didn't want to run again because running had become such a demanding mistress to me. Such an idol. Such an obsession. That I was I afraid I didn't have the discipline to put running in the right perspective in my life.

I changed all that this summer. After years of running a few times a month but never consistently, I made time for running again. I made time for me again. Although, I would have answered that I was a runner all along if you asked me, this summer I became a runner again.

I went back to an old love and found a way to make a place in my life for it. And I didn't realize how much I missed running until I started running again. I do not run to music. My friends kid me about this but I just can't do it. Unless I'm running on a treadmill and then I have to run to music. I hate running on treadmills.

I forgot how much I needed the time to let my mind wander. When I run I let my heart have it's way with my thoughts.

Sometimes I tackle big topics, like are we going to adopt again. The answer is no we are not. Well, maybe not right now. It seems like a crazy idea at my age. But I can't stop thinking about orphans.

Sometimes I tackle the mundane, like my daily to do list. Laundry. Grocery Store. Library. Make Dinner. Call mom. Write blog post.

Sometimes I pray. For my family. For my children. For people whose houses I am running past. For myself. For forgiveness. For answers to questions about the future that plague me.

Sometimes I try and resolve issues in my life. What color should I paint the playroom (answer; tan with brown trim). What can we do about xyz behavior in this child.

Sometimes I focus on how much it hurts. Usually this doesn't last long.

Running is so different in this phase of my life. I am no longer running to be skinny. I am not running to fit into a dress. Or to fit into a clothing size. Now I'm running for me. I'm running to clear my head. I'm running to be healthy and if I loose weight or my clothes fit better it is an added bonus. I'm running to be stronger.

My goal is to run 3-4 times a week for 30-45 minutes. I have never run for distance, I use time as my yardstick. I don't always hit this goal but at this point in my life I give myself the grace I need and move on. I notice it when I don't run. I feel different. I don't sleep as well. I feel a little off. Like something is missing. Until I lace up my sneaks again and then it all becomes clear.

I am a runner.

getting organized: your purse

2011-10-23T15:23:00.002-04:00

I was recently given the opportunity by BlogHer to answer some questions about organization. For those of you don't know me well, this is a topic that I love. I mean really love. I ~~stalk~~ read organizing blogs, read every magazine with organizing mentioned on the cover and am typically reading one book on organizing at all times. So I was happy to think about and answer their questions as part of their Life Well Lived series on Getting Organized. Here are some of the questions I was asked and my answers...

What are the biggest issues you have in keeping your purse organized and neat?

My biggest issue with keeping my purse organized is my kids. Quite frankly, I did not realize how much stuff ended up in my purse that belongs to or was picked up by my kids. Since I am in the post-diaper bag phase of parenting, my purse has become the family catch-all for stuff when we are out. The other day, I found two rocks, candy wrappers, chewed gum that not been fully wrapped in a piece of paper and some lego toys. None of this stuff belonged to me. But it was causing my purse to be dirty, unorganized and heavy...

What is the best advice you have to keep your purse neat and orderly?

I would say that the one thing I try and do daily or at least every other day is clean out my purse. I relocate things to their proper home, which is never my purse to begin with. I have to admit that I used to collect sugar packets and would put those in my mother's purse, so I'm secretly happy that my kids do the same thing. But in order to keep things organized, I purge daily!

What 3 things in your purse are must haves and what 3 could you live without?

Three things that are must haves for me are; lipstick, money and my cell phone.

Three things I could live without are; basically I could live without everything else in my purse. Which begs the question, why do I carry so much stuff around with me?!?

To check out more answers to these questions and to post your own answers, please go here.

To enter the current Life Well Lived Moments $250 Sweepstakes go here and leave a comment.

an update and a recipe

2011-10-12T21:39:00.000-04:00

Grace is doing much better. Thank you to everyone who emailed or called to find out how we were doing. She was sick till Friday and then she gave her illness to me. I was sick starting on Saturday till yesterday and I passed it on to Mark. We are a family that believes in sharing.

Mark and I were sitting on the couch Monday night comparing our symptoms, then we talked about my dentist appointment and my new crown, then we talked about needing to remember to take our fiber and then I went to bed at 8:30. I told him, if that happens again to start calling me grandma.

October has not been able to make up it's mind and I sent the kids to school wearing shorts at the beginning of the week. This weekend the weather was beautiful. Since it was so nice, John spent a lot of time riding his bike. It is so fun to see how happy he is that he mastered this skill.

I try and bake something for my family each week. It is just something that I like to do and they enjoy home made treats. I usually make muffins or some sort of bread. I try to stay away from cookies too often but we do love sweets in this house. One treat that never lasts long and is somewhat healthy is my banana bread. I thought I would make some today using my new mixer and wanted to share the recipe with you. The original recipe is from Cooking Light but I have adapted it over the years.

I am not a food blogger, so I have no pictures during the baking process but I do have a picture of my mixer to share. I can't even say how much I like this color. I know that it is wrong to like a mixer this much but every time I see it, it makes me happy. I know I'm silly. Please ignore all the stuff you can see in the reflection in the bowl behind me. We are making some slight decor changes in our house and our kitchen table became the place that all the displaced stuff ended up on.

Banana Bread

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup butter, softened

2 cups mashed ripe bananas

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup yogurt (I use either plain or vanilla)

2 large egg whites

1 cup all-purpose flour*

1 cup whole wheat flour*

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat oven to 350

2. Beat sugar and butter until well blended. Add banana, milk, yogurt and egg whites; beat well.

3. Add flours, baking soda and salt; beating until blended.

4. Spoon batter into 4 mini-loaf pans coated with cooking spray. Bake for 35 - 40 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.

* The original recipe called for 2 cups of all-purpose flour but I like to use half wheat flour, you can make the bread without wheat flour and it will still taste great.

I have also made muffins instead of the mini loaves. If you are making muffins, you will only need to bake for 20-22 minutes. I like to make the mini loaves, because they seem to be the right size for my little ones to eat. Plus, I often make this when asked to bring a baked good and a small slice is just the right size when you are at a brunch.

All my boys love this banana bread. In fact, one loaf disappeared within 10 minutes of it coming out of the oven. They would have eaten more, but I wouldn't let them eat any more that close to dinner.

What's your favorite treat to bake for your family? Now that the weather is changing, ~~I need to find a reason to use my mixer~~ I'm in the mood for baking and I'm always looking for new recipes.

randomness

2011-10-06T21:16:00.000-04:00

Grace has been sick all this week Grace. As I mentioned in this post, she was shivering on Sunday and it turns out it wasn't the change in weather but a 103.5 fever. Yikes. I said to Mark, I can't believe I missed that. It's not like we are first time parents here.

We kept her home Monday and Tuesday due to her high fevers. On Wednesday I took this picture of her and was sure she was over the worst of it.

However, she is still sick. I'm pretty sure it is just a cold a this point, but colds are very hard on Grace. She can't blow her nose, so it either just drips down her face or into her throat causing her to cough/choke on it. She also isn't eating very much. Which is worrisome since she doesn't drink very much or anything. I put her in her crib for a nap today and she played up there for an hour and a half. When I brought her down stairs, this is what she did...

If she is not feeling better tomorrow, I'm going to take her to the doctor's. I just really try to avoid that if I can because she HATES, I mean hates, the doctor's office. The last time she was sick, it took three people to hold her down so the doctor could look in her throat.

******************************

Luke had a play date today with a boy from his kindergarten class. This is the first year the two boys have been in class together, but they have become fast friends. They have begged daily to be able to play with each other after school. I talked to B's mom about it and so we agreed upon today. Luke could hardly stand it that today was THE day B was coming over.

Boys are so cute! As soon as they got here, they both changed into costumes. If you have been reading here for a while, you know that Luke loves Spiderman and wears his costume daily (or at least every other day as you can see here, and here). His friend B couldn't decide who he wanted to be so he was Ironman, Dark Vader, a Clone Trooper, and then Dark Vader again.

My favorite quote from their time together was 'Come on. Let's go save the world.'

*******************************

John learned to ride his bike without training wheels tonight. It is so random. We have been talking about this for two years. I think he was too afraid to fall or not succeed so he would never try. For some reason, he decided to try tonight. Mark is working so I don't have any pictures but he got it right away. We went into the back yard so he could practice on the grass first in case he fell. I helped him steady himself and walked beside him holding the handle bar and the seat (just like I remember my dad doing for me). We went across our yard, turned around at the play set and started to come back towards where we started. And I let go but was still running beside him. He didn't realize was doing it at all. It was priceless to see the look on his face when he realized he did it.

After a few turns around the yard, we went out front onto the street. John was concerned and didn't want anyone to watch him in case he messed up or fell. After we got over that issue, I helped him one other time and then he was riding by himself. I'm so proud of him. And I didn't even have to bribe him! We even called daddy at work to tell him. The only issue we have is he can't get himself started and I'm not sure how to teach him to do that.

Luke is now ready to try to ride a bike without training wheels. So we are going to find one in our garage that he can ride. The boys are off school tomorrow for an in-service day so I'm sure there will be lots of bike riding going on.

*******************************

I'm going to make pumpkin bread in my new mixer tomorrow and I'm pretty excited about it. I'm talking about using my mixer, not the pumpkin bread. I don't like pumpkin bread but I love baking for my family and I love using my new mixer. I'm trying a new recipe, so if it works out I'll post it. Even if it doesn't work, I may post it just so you can see my yellow mixer.

I hope you're having a good week!

a birthday list

2011-10-02T21:43:00.000-04:00

On this Sunday night, I think a list post is in order. I'm going to recap my our weekend with a top ten list.

1. My birthday was on Friday. I am now 45. forty-five. I'm not sure how that is possible since I still feel like I'm 30 and thanks to good genes, I can still pass for being in my 30's. I got asked several times if I felt old. I have to say I do not feel old, but when you say 45 out loud it just sounds old. Really, I'm surprised every time I have to say my age these days.

2. Johnny Mathis was also born on September 30th. I'm not sure why, but I think it's fun to know of other people born on the same day as me. Of course Johnny was born almost 30 years before me and can sing WAY better than me. I grew up listening to his music and still like it, which I realize might make sound like every bit of my forty five years, but it reminds me of my childhood. I think I'll work on finding someone more current for my birthday next year.

3. Mark and I went out on a date Friday night. It was so fun. We went to a restaurant called Brio and sat outside. It was pouring rain and a little chilly, but they have a covered porch with heaters so we were quite comfortable. It may be my new favorite restaurant.

4. I got a KitchenAid mixer from Mark. I'm so excited. I have wanted one for about 15 years. My mom has a rule that my dad can't buy her any presents that have a cord or a plug. I do not have that rule. My mixer makes me really happy and it is yellow. I'm going to be doing a lot of baking soon! Yay!

5. On Saturday we went out to lunch for my birthday instead of the traditional birthday breakfast. John had a soccer game and I really wanted to sleep in (which in my house means 7:30), so we went out for lunch. We sat in a table that was sort of in the middle of the restaurant, meaning that it had other tables all around us. We were near a couple that were obviously grandparents and they kept looking at our kids. When they finished their meal, the woman made a point of coming to our table and complimenting our family. It was so nice to hear and I agree the kids were really good.

6. Saturday night we all went to my sister Cathy's house for my birthday dinner. She is a great hostess and always makes way too much food. So it is always fun to be at her house. My sisters gave me workout clothes and so did my parents. Either I've been talking about working out a lot or it is a really big hint that I need to work out more! Actually, I was very consistent in my running all Spring and Summer. I got a little off track with the start of school but hope to get back to running 3-4 days a week. Now I have lots of new clothes to run in!

7. We watched the Phillies win their game last night while at my sister's house. Anytime I watch the baseball playoffs, it makes me think of our trip to visit John during his adoption. The night before we were coming back home, we met with the foster family to give him back and then went out to dinner with a friend of mine (who just happened to be in Guatemala at the same time). After dinner, Mark and I went to the hotel bar and watched the Yankees play the Red Sox. I was crying. The game was being called in Spanish. I refused to go back to our room until they removed the crib. From that day forward, anytime I watch the playoffs in October I think of being in that bar watching baseball in Spanish with a broken heart.

8. Today after church we went out to lunch. Mark knows that I love to eat out and that I get tired of cooking, so he treated me to a lot of meals out this weekend. Which makes me feel incredibly spoiled and I love it.

9. The weather turned this weekend. It went from hot and humid to cold and rainy. In fact, we had to turn the heat on today to take the chill off for Grace. She kept shivering this afternoon and couldn't get warm. It turns out the reason she was shivering so much was because she had a fever of 103.5. Bless her heart. Poor thing felt better after motrin and was able to go right to sleep tonight. Let's just pray she stays asleep tonight.

10. On Saturday at lunch, I handed Grace a napkin and said, 'wipe your mouth'. And she did! It was so amazing and unexpected. I got tears in my eyes and had to force myself not to start crying right there in the middle of the restaurant. That is the sort of thing we do or say to Grace daily. 'Come here.' 'Wipe your mouth.' 'Wave bye.' 'Take the spoon.' Usually we get no response or she will take the napkin and just throw it. So, I wasn't really expecting her to do anything. It was just so perfect. She took the napkin from me, wiped her little mouth and handed it back to me. I felt such joy. It is always a gift to get these small-to-other-kids actions from Grace.

Overall, I had a great weekend! Turning forty-five was painless, even if it does sound old to me.

So tell me, how was your weekend? What did you do that was fun? What famous person was born on your birthday?

family portraits {kairos photography}

2011-09-29T14:54:00.000-04:00

It is difficult for me to express just how much I love the pictures from our family photo shoot. The last time we had family pictures taken it was in December of 2006. We got the sitting fee in a silent auction and decided to have pictures taken for Christmas. At the time, John was almost 3 and Luke was almost 1. Grace came home the following August and we have been waiting since then to get family portraits taken.

When she first came home, Grace didn't look up at all. She spent all her time looking down and to the right. Mark and I have talked about family portraits on and off for four years. We just kept waiting until Grace developed more and we were somewhat confident that she would look at the camera.

When I found out that a friend, Jessica, from church had started taking pictures professionally, I was so excited. I contacted her immediately and we scheduled a photo shoot. Unfortunately, our first session had to be reschedule (it may or may not have had something to do with my bangs being too short). We rescheduled for the week in August when Mark was off work. Unfortunately, we had to reschedule that time too. This was due to Luke getting a black eye at our church picnic. Thankfully, not only is she a mom but she has two boys so she understands these things.

Well, the third time was the charm and we had our family pictures taken two weekends ago. Our photographer was Jessica Zubrod of Kairos Photography. As I said at the time, it was so fun. Jessica was so easy to work with and really committed to us getting the best pictures of our family. We got our results yesterday and I love them all! I'm going to have a really hard time deciding which ones to get printed. Here are some of my favorites.

Looking at all these pictures just makes me so happy. They bring me such joy! For four years I have walked past our family portrait that doesn't have Grace in it and felt bad. Now I can finally have a picture of our whole family. Our goal is to put a picture of our family over our fireplace, which we just got re-done and our waiting for our new mantle (I will be posting pictures of our renovation soon). Now all we have to do is decide.

Which ones are your favorite? Which picture of the five of us do you like the best?

Please help me choose!

soccer season has started

2011-09-27T11:15:00.000-04:00

John is playing soccer again this year. Last year was his first year and he really enjoyed playing. Unfortunately, my friend Judy's son decided to play fall baseball so the boys are not together this year (which means neither are the mommies, boo!). However, John does know a few of the kids on his team either from last year or from school.

This past weekend was his first game (well, actually it was the 2nd game of the season but we missed the first game due to our family picture photo shoot) and picture day. John played most of the game and was put on both offense and defense. This year the league combined the younger and older kids so each team has kids that are 5, 6, 7 and 8 year olds. I wish I had known this before we signed him up, because I would have switched leagues so that he could play with all 7 and 8 year olds. The skill and interest level between a 5 year old and an almost 8 year old is huge.

John spent most of the game chasing down people with the ball, clearing the ball from in front of the goal and then taking the ball all the way down the field on offense. One boy on the other team rejoiced when John was taken out for a sub and shouted, 'now that you're out John I'll be able to score'. And he was right, with John out of the game no one could catch him and he score the only goal of the game.

All of my shots from the game have one of the other boys on the team in them. It is hilarious, you can tell John is ready for the player with the ball to approach him and the other little boy is pretending to be an airplane. As I said, the difference between 5 and almost 8 is huge. Even funnier is that this boy is the nephew of one of my best friends who was an awesome soccer player and she went to college on a soccer scholarship.

Because we were going to the Blue Hen football game after John's soccer game, I had Luke with me. He was bored and wanted to go to the playground during the game. Instead, he spilled a bottle of water on his shirt and played in the grass...

Which is another example of the difference between 5 years and almost 8. He asked me to take his picture with this grass on his head. After looking at the picture on my camera asked me to take another one. This boy is so funny!

Grace was home with a babysitter. Which I'm sure was way more fun than spending two hours at the ball field trapped in her chair.

blue and gold

2011-09-25T16:24:00.001-04:00

Most of my college days were spent at the University of Delaware in Newark Delaware. Which just so happens to be where I grew up, where my parents still live and where my dad was a professor for 38 years. I loved living in my hometown. Growing up in a college town was so fun! The town stretches and grows by 20,000+ when the students arrive every September and then recedes back to a small town in May when the school year ends.

Another thing that September brings is Blue Hen Football. I remember going to see Delaware football games as a young girl. I was raised in a sports loving family and we know football. As a college student, I went to almost every football game however, we spent more time in the parking lots tailgating then actually cheering on the team. But still, I went to the games.

The UofD is a small to mid-sized school, that plays football in Division III. The stadium is small, considering some of the D1 schools I've been too, it seats about 20,000 people. The football program has won a few National Championships and sent several players to the NFL (including the current Baltimore Ravens QB Joe Flacco).

On Saturday, I took John and Luke to see their first Blue Hen Football game. My mom and dad have season tickets and my mom was unable to go. Their friends that they sit with were also unable to go, so the boys and I went. I probably haven't been to a UofD football game in 15 years. But when I walked back into the stadium, it was like coming home. It was so fun to watch a game in person.

My parents seats are on the 40 yard line in row Z. They sound like bad seats but actually ended up being really good. We have spent the last two years without cable television, so the boys haven't actually seen too many football games. As a result, they do not understand the game very well or at all.

The boys were both hungry when we got to the game, so we stopped at the concession stand. After I paid as much as I used to pay in rent when I went to Delaware for the food, we found our seats. John ate two hotdogs, a pretzel and a large Gatorade. Once all the food was gone, John tried to pay attention. However, once he heard that the band was performing at half time, he asked me ~~8,000 times when half time was even though I pointed out the clock to him each time~~ a few times when the band would come out. After a while, Luke gave up trying to pay attention...

and just laid down. Thankfully, no one was in the seats in front of us so he could use it as a pillow. And yes, I let him lay down on the floor of the stadium.

With 25 seconds left in the half, Luke announced that he had to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW. Of course, when you are in row Z there is no easy and fast way to get to the restroom. On the way down to the bathroom, I saw several people from my high school and college days. Oh my, they are getting old...

We stayed to watch the marching band, which the kids thought was great and then left the game. We walked out with my dad who had also had enough. It reminded me so much of my childhood (you know minus all the whining and having to spend money at the concession stand). The boys both declared their love for Blue Hen Football and want to go back to another game. Delaware won their game 27 - 17 and now have two more fans than they used too.

just a glimpse

2011-09-22T21:11:00.000-04:00

It was such a nice surprise to log onto facebook today and see this preview of what is to come from our family portrait session last weekend.

I love this picture. I love that Grace has no shoes on. We borrowed shoes from a friend of mine that looked so cute with her outfit but she kept kicking them off. I love that our poses are not perfect. I love that everyone is looking at the camera.

I love this glimpse of our family. I can't wait to see the rest...

weekend wrap up

2011-09-18T21:22:00.000-04:00

This weekend flew by at warp speed. I'm not sure why, but we packed a bunch of activities into our weekend and everyone ended up exhausted! We also had our first taste of fall weather. I really love fall so I was happy. But, again this year, I was unprepared for the drastic change and didn't have the kids fall clothes ready.

We started our weekend with our Friday night small group. It is such a great way to end the school / work week and start our weekend. This year our small group is studying The Story. Which is basically the Bible written like a story by Tim Keller. We have only read the first two chapters but I can already tell this is going to be a great book and lead to really deep discussions. We are also using this book which provides more background information and have purchased this children's story book bible. Our favorite children's bible remains the Jesus Storybook Bible but I'm looking forward to reading this new one with the kids.

On Saturday morning, we had our re-rescheduled family photo shoot. The morning was brisk and I was hoping for more sunlight than we had but overall it was good weather. After the initial whining about being cold, the kids did a great job! I brought my camera with visions of taking pictures while Jessica was shooting pictures of the kids but I only took it out twice.

The photo session went so smoothly. Our primary goal was to get a family picture that we can hang in our living room. We tried a few poses and hopefully she was able to capture our family essence. We also wanted one of the 3 kids, individual shots of the kids, Mark & I and then ones of the kids with each of us separately. I can't wait to share the final products. I got an email from Jessica that said she took over 1,200 pictures with our family, so I'm guessing we'll be able to find a few gems in there!

We attended a very special birthday party on Saturday afternoon. Colin turned one this past week and his parents threw him a party!

He wasn't sure at first, but Colin has decided he does like cake!

We had one final thing on our Summer Fun List and so we decided to check it off this weekend. Looking back now, it may not have been the wisest choice.

After Colin's party we took the kids to the Cowtown Rodeo in New Jersey. It was so fun! It runs every Saturday night from May through September and starts at 7:30PM. The kids thought it was great. And even though I called and was assured they had handicapped seating, they didn't. We were able to take Grace's stroller down to our seats and sort of wedge it so that she could sit next to me without rolling down the aisle.

It was a beautiful night for some roping, racing and riding. However, it was really cold.

From our seats I wasn't able to take any good pictures of the events. We saw 2 heats of bull riding, which is always exciting to watch. These cowboys are amazing. We also saw the Tie-down roping event, where the cowboy starts on his horse, ropes a calf, jumps down off his horse, picks the calf up and puts him down on his side and then ties 3 out of the 4 feet together. It was amazing to watch. The boys just loved it. They were so excited! They got as close to the action as they could before big daddy asked them to move back (the security guy had to be 7 feet tall and huge).

We also stayed for the Bareback Bronc Riding Event. Which was just as exciting as the bull riding and just as dangerous. These horses are really trying to throw the riders off, I think it has to do with their withers being in a cinch. Ouch!

We had decided before we got there that we would leave at 9:00 since our kids normal bedtime is 7:30 and they had been out late the night before. Well right after I snapped this happy family picture, Grace started crying. It seems that she was cold and wanted to be inside. So Mark and Grace missed the Bronco riding. By the time we got home and got them into bed, they all may or may not have been crying.

We had a terrible time trying to wake them up for church this morning. Since it was our first week to serve in our children's ministry, we had to go. Again, there may or may not have been crying in our house this morning. I think it was a big parenting fail to keep them out late two nights in a row and them wake them up early for church. When we got home, we ate lunch and then had all family rest time. Except for Mark, he had to go to work today (boo). During this rest time, Luke and I napped for sure. John may have slept for a little bit and Grace didn't sleep at all.

Which is why sister fell asleep on the ottoman at 4:30 with the boys running around playing, the football game on in the background and the dishwasher running.

Even though our night at the Rodeo ended in tears, we loved it. We can't wait to go again. If you're local and want to join us next summer just let me know!

Thankfully, during tonight's bedtime there were no tears and everyone was asleep by 8:00ish...

what's in a name?

2011-09-15T21:53:00.000-04:00

With the start of the school year comes so many changes. New grades for each of the kids. New teachers for Luke and Grace. New classmates for all three kids. New friends in these new rooms. A new soccer team for John, with new teammates. A new women's bible study group for me. We even have new families in our small group.

I am enjoying all these changes and the chance to meet new people. Both for me and for my kids. It is an exciting time in their young lives. I am enjoying the opportunity for all of us to make new friends. However, one thing that always takes me by surprise is the fact that I am unprepared to explain Grace and her special needs to new people.

I just don't have a good answer for the questions. Although, most people don't ask outright what is wrong with your daughter. Come to think of it, only children ask direct questions about Grace. Most adults wait for me or my husband to initiate an answer to their unspoken questions. And since she looks like a typically developing child, it is not until she does something strange or they try to talk to her that we encounter the questions.

The reality of the situation is, we don't know what is wrong with our daughter. We don't have a diagnosis. We don't have a name for it. Daily we fight and pray against something unnamed. We, primarily me, struggle against not having a name for what is wrong with Grace. We have a bunch of symptoms; non-verbal, mentally retarded, physically delayed, total care, and others. But they don't add up to a name.

I am currently reading One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp and she wrote something that took my breath away. She is discussing the fact that they do not know what is wrong with their hogs and why they are loosing litters. Her husband does some research and believes he discovers the cause of the problem, it is not a resolution to their problem just a name for it. On page 52 she writes his comments when he thinks he knows what is wrong, "God's good. Just naming it...Just naming it. When you don't have a name for something, you're haunted by the shadows. It ages you."

When I read that I said to myself, 'Yes. That's it'. I have struggled for four years without a diagnosis for Grace. We have had many tests and seen many specialists and had some really horrible things ruled out. However, we have not come up with an answer. I fully understand that having a name for what is wrong with your child is sometimes still very painful. We know families who have heard the names of Rhetts Syndrome, childhood cancer, mitochondrial disease, down syndrome and others. So I know that having a name isn't a ticket out but it is a ticket.

Once you have a ticket with your child's syndrome, disease or delay on it, you are able to find others who have that same ticket. You are able to find support and possibly hope or at least help. I find that not knowing what Grace has is very isolating. Not only do we not know what her future looks like because we have no diagnosis, we have no idea what questions to ask or to whom to ask our questions. Or how to answer people who ask us questions.

I also want to make sure that I say that having a name for it or a diagnosis would not change our love for Grace or the way that we challenge her to reach milestones and fight for her to grow and develop. We would not take a diagnosis as a box to put her in, but rather an answer to the questions of what is wrong with our daughter. As a starting point. As a name.

As of right now, we have no where else to go for a diagnosis. We have seen all the specialists that we can think of to go to. We have had all the latest testing done. We have done hours of on-line research. We are left without a name and without a diagnosis.

We know that we are not alone in this gray area. We know that many, many other families struggle through the challenges of having special needs or disabled children without a diagnosis attached to their child. I have met many mothers who share this pain of not knowing. And the isolating reality that we may never know what is wrong with our children.

On most days, I do not even think about the fact that we have no diagnosis for Grace. Instead I think about the issues that we face and the adaptations to our families life that must be made because we have a child with special needs. I think about how I can still provide my boys with all the opportunities they need to lead a normal childhood, while we raise a child with both mental and physical delays. I think about how I can keep my daughter safe when my family is out in public, when she doesn't always respond to her name and she can't communicate.

For now, 'my answer to what is wrong with her?' is simple. I say, we don't have a diagnosis but we know that when she was a baby something happened to her brain to cause it to stop growing. Because of that, she is delayed in many ways. For example, Grace doesn't have the ability to talk right now but she loves to be talked to and she loves music. I try and keep it simple, but still convey the severity of her special needs. I'm still perfecting my answer and hope to be able to give my boys an example they can follow when people start asking them about their sister.

future plans

2011-09-14T21:14:00.000-04:00

When John was 5 years old and finishing his year of pre-Kindergarten the teacher asked each child what they wanted to be when they grew up. John replied, 'an artist'. I was surprised because he had never mentioned that at home. So I asked him the same question.

Me: John, what do you want to be when you grow up?

John: I want to be either an artist or someone who shoots people.

Me: {thinking: WHAT?!?, I'm raising a serial killer} I take a deep breath and as calmly as I can ask 'what does it mean to be a person who shoots people?'

John: Oh you know an army guy or a super hero that shoots bad guys

Me: {Thank you God.Thank you God.Thank you God.} I say something like, any of those would be great to be when you grow up.

The other day, he decided to trace this picture of Spiderman and create his own coloring sheet. In order to see the picture better he held it up to the window and spent about a half an hour tracing this picture. Then he photocopied it so he could keep his original.

John still wants to be either an artist or a super hero. Or maybe a professional baseball player (be still my heart, this would be so awesome for me since I love baseball). Or maybe a youth pastor, so he could tell kids who don't know it, how much Jesus loves them (his exact words). Or maybe just a dad (as in that would be his job). Or maybe a business owner like his dad.

I love how his future plans are consistent and yet changing and growing as he changes and grows. One thing about John that will never change is his heart for other people. This picture he was tracing was for his brother. I was so touched to see him work so hard on something and then give it to his brother just because he thought Luke would like it and it would make Luke happy.

remembering 9/11

2011-09-11T15:58:00.000-04:00

I remember exactly where I was 10 years ago when the world as we knew it changed. I was at work. I worked at our local hospital in the Heart Center. Part of my position was to manage the front of the Heart Center, in that capacity I worked with the team that registered patients for various heart related procedures in the hospital. We also ran the waiting area for families waiting for patients getting these procedures. The waiting area had two TVs that were on constantly. On a typical day, these TVs attempted to provide distraction to families awaiting, sometimes life changing, word on their family members. On this day, these TVs provided life changing news to everyone.

I remember one of my staff members calling my attention to the TV news show and watching Matt Lauer announce that a plane had just hit the World Trade Center.

I remember thinking that that could not have been an accident.

I remember watching in horror as the second plane struck the second Tower.

I remember a feeling of shock being replaced by a deep sorrow and sadness. And thinking that this could not end well.

I remember my staff starting to panic and being asked if we should turn off the TVs. The staff was concerned that this news was too disturbing for families who were waiting for news of their loved ones in surgery. We did not turn off the news. We couldn't.

I remember calling my parents to check on my aunt, uncle and cousins who lived on Long Island and worked in The City. They were all okay.

I remember the Pentagon being hit next.

I remember learning of the plane going down in the field in Pennsylvania.

I remember people starting to panic. We were in Delaware, which is 2 1/2 hours from New York City and 2 1/2 hours from Washington, DC, and people weren't sure what the target were.

I remember crying, standing in the waiting room, as I watched the Towers go down. My first thought was all those innocent people and all those fire fighters.

I remember not being able to turn off the TV that night. Of sitting on our couch crying while all those people put up signs for missing persons. Mark kept telling me to turn off the TV. I couldn't. I needed to hear those stories, to see those pictures. As if I was somehow helping them by watching their stories.

I remember the events of 9/11 bringing people together. Of thoughts of hope and unity for our country.

Now it is 10 years later and I remember more about that day than I do about last Tuesday. I remember being changed by the events of that day and the days that followed. And I have changed in other ways since that day. I am a mom now. I still cry when I watch the tribute shows. I cried today during the pregame show for the Eagles game as the players helped the fire fighters and police hold the American Flag. I couldn't even explain to my kids why mommy was crying. I want them to understand how much our country changed that day, but I want to shield them from the horror. From the devastation that followed those acts of terrorism.

I want them to understand but I'm not sure that at 7 and 5 they are old enough to understand without being scared. My goal as a mom, in all things not just 9/11, is to protect my children not shelter them. So I tell them that 10 years ago some bad guys did something that caused a lot of Americans, innocent Americans, to die. That today is a day of remembering all the innocent victims. I tell them that we are remembering the events of 10 years ago so that we never forget.

Today I am remembering all the fallen heros that went to work that Tuesday like any other Tuesday and never came home. I'm remembering all the families whose lives where changed that day. I'm remembering all the heros who were sent off to foreign lands to defend our country and especially those who did not come home. I'm remembering how fortunate I am to be able to hug my kids and send my husband off to work knowing that he will come home tonight. I'm remembering why it is that I believe that America is still the greatest country to live in. I'm remembering 9/11/01.

i've got nothing

2011-09-08T20:51:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure why, but I've got nothing. I have lots of posts swirling in my brain and lots to say about our fun Labor Day Weekend away but for some reason I'm having trouble doing much these days. I'm having a challenge with seasonal allergies and like most of the East Coast we have had non-stop rain for days. This combination is causing me to ~~take a nap every day~~ not be the most focused. Something that doesn't mix well with the beginning of the school year. So until I can put some coherent thoughts together on paper, I'm going to post some picture from our weekend and then go to bed.

For the second year in a row, we went to a Young Life Family Camp for Labor Day. We went with almost all the families in our small group and it was just as much fun as last year. Next year we are going to get matching shirts...

Again this year, Luke did the screamer swing. Only this year he did it with Mark and I took the pictures. It was so funny because during the swinging part, Luke was webbing like spiderman!

John, Luke and their friend Emma went on a raft pulled by a boat ride. They loved it.

Mark competed in a dizzy bat race, so funny!

Mark and John got called up on stage during club and John learned what smashing a pie into someone's face means. His reaction was hilarious.

Sister decided to show off during camp and held a cup full of water to her mouth and took a drink. It was so cute to see her do it and then keep reaching for the cup back. We are not sure how much she drank but here's photographic evidence that she held a cup...

And finally, we had one of our friend's take a family picture. See how tired everyone looks. I think we are going to have this taken on the first day next year.

We also spent a lot of time talking with friends we had not seen since last camp and making new friends. We are so happy that our small group took this trip together and really look forward to going again next year.

august recap

2011-09-01T13:19:00.000-04:00

It is hard to believe that we are saying hello to September today. The last month of summer flew by! I'm so glad we have one more long weekend away before we say good-bye to our summer vacations. I realized that I had not posted a bunch of pictures from our August adventures. So I'm going to post my favorite to recap our month.

I love this picture of Luke. He is standing behind a fountain type thingy at Longwood Gardens. I think it is so cool how you can see the water drops.

This is another picture from Longwood Gardens, me and my boys. We had such a fun day with friends.

We painted one wall in our playroom with chalk board paint. I'm almost ready to show before and after pictures. This is the heart John drew me the other day.

We spent a fun day in Baltimore with friends at the Port Discovery museum. The kids all had a blast but we never did get a picture of all five together. Here is John, Luke and Nathan posing next to some sort of fish statue.

It was an incredibly hot day. Which seems to happen when we get together, the last time we met up with these friends we went to the zoo and it was so hot some of the animals weren't allowed outside. Here are the boys by the water.

Grace seemed to enjoy watching the kids have fun. She walked around a bit but is really not able to participate in any of the exhibits.

This is Luke with Sela. It was during their adoptions that Rena and I became friends. We don't see or talk to each other enough but she is one of my favorite people. I promise to be better at keeping in touch with her in the future.

The boys have spent a lot of time on their scooters this summer. They can get going really fast. Thankfully, we haven 't had too many crashes! Here they are trying to see if they can go fast enough to make their capes fly behind them.

We had an awesome August. Now we are slowly getting into our school year rhythm. It seems to be the hardest on me, but as long as I'm organized our mornings seem to go smoothly.

first day of school

2011-08-30T11:05:00.000-04:00

Today was our official first day of school, since Irene came through town and delayed all the schools one day. Today is the first day they are all in school full time. To be honest, I was a little worried about the timing of everything.

Grace and John both have a pick up time of 7:50 and although I can see the bus stop from our house, I hated the thought of him being at the bus stop without me on the first day (or maybe it should read; I hated the thought of me not being with him at the bus stop on the first day of school). However, we still have some back roads closed in our area due to the Tropical Storm over the weekend so Grace's van was late today. I was so happy to be able to stay at the bus stop with John until his bus came for him.

I love his totally posed picture at the top of the bus steps. Thankfully, he will still pose for me and kiss me at the bus stop. He is ready for 2nd grade and really happy to have the same teacher from last year.

Grace has the same van driver and (Praise God) aide as the past 2 years. We were told that there may not be an aide on her van this year. Which seemed like a bad idea to me, since they transport 5 disabled kids and none of them can talk but I know that not all decisions are made with reality in mind. Grace has a new teacher and I'm looking forward to having Grace make some progress this year.

Luke is my last one to get to school and I am determined to be on time. We live (literally) 2.1 miles from his school and have been late most days for the past 2 years. Since he is going to Kindergarten (sniff, sniff) this year, we need to be on time. Today we made it! He seems really excited to be back in school, but I'm not sure he realizes it will be every day. As we were leaving he said, 'I so happy it's just the two of us!' I will miss this sweet boy and our time together.

I told him I was going to be a little sad leaving him and hoped he had fun today. As I was leaving he said, 'Mom, I'm not scared I'm brave and I love school'. It made me smile, which was good because I was feeling a little teary eyed. But they I came home to an empty house. Let me repeat that so it can sink in, I came home to an empty house.

I am going to spend some time ~~organizing and straightening up things around here~~ reading blogs, editing pictures from our summer and enjoying the quiet. Then before I know it it will be time to pick up Luke. We are going to go to the grocery store, I'm hoping they have restocked from the panic buying of Friday and Saturday. We are going to make Happy 1st Day of School Cupcakes! I can't wait to see how all their 1st days were. So far mine has been good...

ready

2011-08-27T15:50:00.000-04:00

We are ready for Hurricane Irene.

We live west of Philadelphia so we are under a Tropical Storm Warning versus a Hurricane Warning. Which means we will still have heavy rain, wind gusts in the 55 - 70 mph range, localized flooding and widespread power outages. In order to prepare, we have battened down the hatches (love that phrase). We have removed all of our porch furniture, stored the deck furniture and taken down any thing that can fly away.

Inside we have gathered all our candles, flashlights and batteries into one location. Moved boxes away from the sump pump due to projected power outages. I went to the grocery store today to stock up on food for Grace, Doritos and coffee. Although, if we are out of power I guess I will not be drinking any coffee. We also have bottled water and (I'm a little embarrassed to admit) I filled the bath tub with water. I'm not sure why this step seems extreme to me but I decided I'd rather be safe than sorry and if we loose power for longer than 24 - 36 hours I may be glad to have the water.

Mark helped with the preparations and then left for work. He is working about 40 minutes south of here, which puts him in the Hurricane Warning area. We are thinking that he will be able to get home before the worst part of the storm hits around midnight or two am. However, we are not sure he will be able to get out to go to work tomorrow due to the flooding they are predicting.

We also spent the last week of summer checking things off our summer list and hanging out as a family. One of the kids favorite places to go to is the 'Horsey Park', which is actually called Carousel Park. It is large park that has, wait for it, horses. They have barns you can walk through and areas for riding lessons. But our family loves the big, fenced in pastures where the horses roam free. We try and call them over to the fence by snickering. John is really good at this.

If that doesn't work, we lure them over with hay and grass we pick up from the ground.

The boys just love this park. And sister really loves the horses. She has no fear. She walked up to a huge horse and reached out to pet his face. Neither one of the boys will do that. I was too nervous with her so close to the horses to get any pictures of her petting them.

We also took the kids to the Delaware Museum of Natural History. We went last August during their Dollar Tuesdays and the boys wanted to go again this year. It is a nice museum but we only went again because it was a dollar. This year we took Grace too. It had one new exhibit otherwise everything else was the same as last year. We ~~raced through in an hour~~ spent an hour there looking at all the animal exhibits and then went out to lunch.

We took some pictures outside the museum with the sculptures they have on the grounds. Here are some pictures by the wild boar that spits water out of his mouth.

Next, the boys wanted their picture taken by the bear statue. When we got over there, Mark decided it would be fun to put Luke in the arms of the bear.

As you can see, Luke did not like that idea. So Mark put Grace up in the bears arms.

Grace didn't seem to mind it. But after that experience, Luke was done. So we left...

We are also ready for school. Yesterday was a spectacularly bad for us. The boys spent the whole day either not listening or fighting with each other. Unfortunately, we had to take Grace to feeding therapy at the hospital and then go to Grace's school to meet her new teacher. So instead of separating them and sending them to their rooms until school starts on Monday. We got to be out in public during their terrible behavior. To add to the fun, Grace had a particularly nasty diaper on the hour drive to her school and then starting crying and fighting to get away from me as I was changing her. That was the exact minute I met her new teacher. It was perfect timing (she says sarcastically), I was tired, frustrated, poop covered and close to tears. But her new teacher has been in the Special Ed field for 30 years so I explained my situation and she was very nice. I have learned to just say, 'that's how we roll' to many, many situations that arise from having a significantly disabled child and two rambunctious boys.

I also took Luke to his sneak a peak Friday morning and we got to meet his Kindergarten teacher. I need a minute to compose myself every time I think about that. His class has 12 kids and 2 teachers. I think it will be a good ratio for him.

We also got to meet a few of the kids that will be in his room, and found out that he knows two boys from previous years at this same school. There is also a little girl adopted from China and another girl adopted from Guatemala in his room. This is the first year we have had any other internationally adopted children in any of the kids rooms. I think it will be fun to get to know these other families.

John had sneak a peak on Thursday but we missed it because the boys were at a birthday party and since John has the same teacher he had last year he didn't feel the need to go. However, we did buy him a new backpack this year (in July) and a bunch of new school supplies. He has had his backpack packed since we bought it and is excited for the first day of school.

So we are ready. We hope we are for Irene. We know that we are ready for school to start on Monday. Although, we are not sure if we will have school. I guess it all depends on Irene right now.

weekend recap

2011-08-22T15:32:00.000-04:00

We had a busy but fun weekend! Full of end of the summer activities and parties with friends. It was the perfect last full family weekend of our summer.

On Saturday we attended a surprise 50th birthday party for my brother-in-law Steve. It was fun to be among the many friends and family members that wished him a Happy Birthday. The balloons were so cool but kept blowing in the wind.

It oh so fun to surprise him. He is really hard to surprise. Here is his face when he realizes the party is for him and not the person he was originally told it was for.

The house has a pond and tons of extra fishing poles for all the kids to use. John and Luke spent most of their time either fishing or watching the other kids fish. The fish are so tame that they kept coming for food. Here's John with one of the fish. I think this guy was caught and then re-caught the whole night, and he got quite a good meal in the process...

On Sunday our church was hosting neighborhood back to school / get to know your neighbor's picnics by school district. We were all looking forward to attending the BBQ. Unfortunately, due to the forecasted 70% chance of thundershowers, all picnics were moved inside. Our picnic was held in the church. The kids had a great time running around our sanctuary and chasing each other while the parents visited.

After dinner some of the dads got involved in the chase. The kids really had fun trying to evade capture and by the looks of it the dads had a ball too. Just as the moms gave the five minute warning, two of the youngest kids in the chase collided. Head to head. Literally, Luke's face and his friend Josh's face hit. It was painful.

Luke has quite a shiner today. The bruise is raised and his eye is swollen so that he has trouble looking down and has to move his head to see. You can see the swelling better in the picture below.

This was totally an accident. The dad that was chasing Josh felt terrible but it was completely accidental and no one's fault. Truthfully, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier in the night. I will say, that it is a bummer it happened this week because we have family portraits scheduled with a photographer Wednesday. I'm praying that the swelling goes down and that the bruise doesn't get any worse. If the swelling is still there we will probably reschedule but otherwise we'll just see how much editing needs to be done.

four years ago

2011-08-18T21:45:00.000-04:00

Four years ago this week, we touched down on US soil with Grace and she became an official American citizen. I'm pretty sure I say the same thing in every homecoming or birthday post, but I can't believe it has been four years already. But seriously, how can this little butterfly be four and a half already?!?!

Isn't she the cutest little thing? I remember buying that bib and sending it down for her to wear. And then being so surprised and excited when I got pictures of her wearing it.

One thing about Grace's homecoming that Mark and I will always remember is how Grace immigrated to the US in nothing but a diaper. She had an amazing diaper blow out on the plane and I did not have any extra clothes in my carry on bag. The blow out occurred just when the beverage service came out and the flight attendants would not let us get past them nor could we go to first class with the baby, so I just changed her right on my lap in the seat. Another adoptive couple offered me an outfit for Grace but I didn't think I would have the ability to get it back to them in a timely manner so baby girl came to the US in a t-shirt, diaper and wrapped in a blanket. There were about 6 or 7 babies coming home on our flight and we all ended up in customs at the same time. For some reason, Grace's name was called first and we cleared customs before any of the other families. The dad from the couple that offered us the outfit, heckled us. He said, we got called first because Grace had no pants on. It was hilarious!

Our little girl has grown and changed so much in the past four years. She has caused us to grow and change in ways we didn't ask for and at times don't want. We call ourselves accidental special-needs adoptive parents because we did not set out to adopt a child with special needs. Although, we know that her adoption and placement in our family was no accident. We believe that God, our Father and the author and finisher of our future, knew all along that Grace was destined to be in our family. I simultaneously pray that He has equipped me for this journey and thank Him for preparing us when we didn't know we were being prepared for this role.

{Please excuse the terrible picture of me. I took it of us yesterday, the old hold the camera at arms length picture, when she was having a snack. Although I wouldn't normally post a picture of me that looks like that, it is the only one where we are both looking at the camera.}

I struggle so much to put into words what it is like raising a child like Grace. Some days it is not much different from raising a typically developing child. Other days it brings me to tears and I am easily frustrated and quick to loose my patience with those around me. Still other days it brings me unspeakable joy to be able to take care of my daughter in ways that one should not be required to take care of a four and a half year old. And still other days, it just makes me tired.

No matter how it feels, we are thankful for Grace being placed in our lives. We are thankful for the brave woman who gave birth to her and pray that she somehow know that her daughter is being well loved and cared for by our family.

Grace is showing signs of truly being one of the family. Yesterday she was giving Mark kisses and I wanted to get a picture of them. As I was snapping pictures and kept missing the actual kissing part.

So baby girl, held daddy's head to hers and looked at me out of the corner of her eye to make sure I got the picture. Seriously, she held his head there until I got the picture. See her looking at me from the corner of her eye?

So cute! She kissed him for a good 15 minutes. And that is why her current nickname is Gives-Many-Kisses. I read this series of books on the recommendation of this local blogger (Jo-Lynne is a great writer and it is such a good blog. She is an awesome resource for information on whole foods and local farm markets). It was a good book series, a little racy for me at points but overall I really enjoyed the series. Now, in honor of the Mowhawk Indians, I have given all the kids and Mark nicknames.

Four years ago we became a family of five! Happy Anniversary Baby Girl.

beach blanket baby

2011-08-16T21:16:00.000-04:00

Grace really enjoyed the beach this year. Both in the Outer Banks in June and this past week at Bethany Beach, DE. This is a HUGE, major change from last year. In the past, Grace has hated any form of water. For over 3 years she screamed every time she took a bath for the entire length of her bath. good times. Last year Grace cried every time we took her down to the beach and pretty much cried every time she was in or near the pool. It was not fun. This year she did not seem as afraid of the ocean. I think the sound and size of it was overwhelming for her little brain.

Even though she did not cry, Grace was not particularly interested in going in the water. We would walk her down to the waters edge and she would pull away and avoid getting her feet wet. This time was no different. Due to how crowded the beaches are in this area, I brought my chair down to where the boys were playing in the sand and water. After trying to get Grace into the water without success, I put her in my chair. She sat there for a little while and then got up on her own and walked down to where Emily, John and Luke were playing in the surf.

And just like that, my little beach blanket baby became a water baby. I could not believe it when she walked with Emily into the surf. I had tears in my eyes. This little girl just keeps on amazing me.

It was so fun to see her reaction to the water and the pull of the waves on her legs. She wasn't quite sure what to do when the water began to recede. I'm sure the sensation of the pull on her legs and the waters attempt to bury her feet was strange and probably scary. However, she stayed in the surf for a little while and then walked over to me, put up her hands to be picked up and snuggled into my arms.

My sweet, brave, special little girl went in the ocean...

quick trip

2011-08-11T20:50:00.000-04:00

This week, the kids and I took a quick trip to the beach to visit my parents. My parents rented a beach house at the same beach we went to as a family for years and years. It is one of my favorite beaches and about 2 hours away. It is the perfect place for a quick get away.

Mark had to work so I took along one of our favorite babysitters, Emily. During the trip Emily and I agreed that Mark should buy me a beach house for next summer and we would live there together with the kids and he could visit on weekends. I've pitched this idea to him for about 10 years and has always shot it down. But I'm hoping my persistence wears him down eventually, although now that I've thrown in a full time nanny I'm probably farther away from my goal than before.

The boys have really grown to love the beach. We went every day for about 3 hours, which turned out to be the right amount of time for all of us. Primarily because the house was almost a mile from the actually beach and it took two trips by car to lug all our ~~crap~~ stuff to set up our camp. They love digging in the sand, jumping waves and even learned to body surf this trip.

I have no idea what the three of them are doing in this picture. But I'm so thankful that it was Emily they chose to play with like this and not me. I was busy taking ~~pictures~~ care of Grace.

They also love the fact that they get ice cream every night at the beach! But who wouldn't love that...

The beach has a trolley service that runs either every so often (I think it was every 15 minutes but I just can't recall the times) and it costs a quarter. So the first night, we walked into town for our ice cream and decided to take the trolley home. The trolley is open on the sides and the boys got such a kick out of riding it. They begged to ride it the rest of our stay at the beach.

Even though she has not been mentioned much in this post, Grace was with us too. I am in the process of writing up a separate post on her beach adventures but thought I'd include this super cute picture of my princess.

We had a really good time with my parents and the boys are already asking when we can go back to the beach. Of course, since I want to live there, I'm ready to go back too.

wordless wednesday - silly girl

2011-08-03T08:34:00.002-04:00

hello august

2011-08-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

It seems incredible to me that we are in the home stretch of our summer vacation. We are fully into our summer rhythm around here and the boys have been enjoying the lazy days that summer vacation calls for. July zipped by in days full of swimming and playing with friends!

We had a little taste of what the school year will bring last week, as the boys attended a local church's VBS (vacation bible school). It was a rude awakening for all of us, but especially me. I forgot, or maybe blocked from my memory, the challenge of getting three kids up and ready for three different schools with three different pick up and drop off times. By the time I dropped the kids off for VBS I needed a break. But then I realized something else, I was alone. It quickly hit me that this school year is the first year that all three kids will be in school full time. I'm looking forward to it and dreading it all at the same time.

July brought us really hot and really humid weather. Which is not uncommon for the mid-Atlantic states but it seemed hotter than usual. The only way to be outside and survive this weather is to be in the water. And evidently, my children are not too particular about what type of water they are in...

At the end of our driveway there is a place close to the road where the grass does not grow (for some reason that sounds like lyrics from a country song when I read it out loud). Anyway. The kids wanted to play with the hose the other day and didn't want to use the slip-n-slide or the sprinkler, so I let them just play with the hose in the driveway. This is what they came up with, they flooded our dirt and built a dam.

They had so much fun that they begged, I tell you begged, to do it again. Since there was no fighting, crying or whining during this play I time I quickly agreed to it. This time they brought toys out with them.

If you flood it, she will come. Evidently, Grace loved the idea too. Sister walked right over and sat down in the water and started playing with it. She had so much fun

I'm quite sure we will be doing this again. And Mark may need a second job to pay our water bill, which I'm guessing will be double what it normally is this time of year...

slip sliding away

2011-07-29T10:00:00.021-04:00

We belong to a super fun health club that has an awesome aquatic center. I kid you not, they call it an aquatic center. There is a huge indoor pool for all year swimming, an indoor lap pool, a therapy pool, a huge hot tub and a 50 meter outdoor pool. All the indoor pools are enclosed in glass, it reminds me of pools in Florida, and it has huge garage type doors that slide open in the summer for easy access to the outdoor pool. We love to go swimming in the indoor pool when it is snowing outside, it is so pretty.

It has been really hot and humid here so we have been spending a lot of time at the pool. Once aspect of the pools that we have not taken advantage of is the huge indoor water slide.

John is a cautious child. He is the type that will assess every situation before entering, he likes to know what the risk is going to be and if it is worth it. Due to his personality, John was not interested in going down the slide last year and was hesitant this summer. In an effort to talk John into going down it, we talked about the safety aspects. There is a life guard at the top telling you when to go and at the bottom in case you need help. The water is not going to be over his head and he is a really good swimmer. In the end, all it took was some cold hard cash!

Yup! That's right. I told him I'd pay him 5 bucks if he went down the slide. I knew that if he did it once he would love it and that due to his personality it was going to be really hard for him to go down the slide the first time without some incentive. I knew that that if he didn't at least try it once, he would be sorry. So after all the rational arguments, friends trying to talk him into going down, and dad offering to go down it too. It ended up being a bribe that worked.

And look at that face. He loves it! The only way to get him to stop going down the slide at this point is when they close it for the day. I consider that money well spent.

In order to go down the slide you have to be 42 inches tall. Which meant that Luke did not qualify until this summer.

In a strange twist of fate, Luke was scared to go down the slide even though he was tall enough this summer and has been talking about the slide for about 18 months. He said, 'dad, I'm not scared I'm just cautious'. Which is a hoot! Because unlike his brother, cautious in not a word that anyone would ever associate with Luke. I mean never. So we talked again about the safety and the fact that mom could be in the pool waiting to catch him if he wanted me too. But still he hesitated. So, I did what I knew would motivate him. I went down the slide. It was really fun and so much faster than I realized. That was all it took. After seeing me go down and love it, he decided to go down it himself.

Now all he wants to do is go down the slide! The pool that you land in has a almost tide effect under water and Luke loves to come down the slide and then go into a dead man float, letting the water push him to the side. I had to tell one of the life guards that he was okay and didn't need rescuing because he never came up for air.

I'm so happy that both boys conquered their fear of the big slide this summer. It makes going to the pool much more fun because they have more to do. It has also been great to watch them both step outside of their comfort zones and 'go for it'. In their own way, they are learning confidence from this slide and independence.

I look forward to ~~milking~~ using the experience of the slide and spreading their wings for a long time to come. I picture myself handing out sage advice in their tweens and teen years and being able to dole out wise parental advice based on the lessons we learned this summer of conquering fear. After all, it did cost me 5 bucks. I need to get my money's worth of experiences out of this.

HERR's snack factory tour

2011-07-28T09:31:00.000-04:00

Last week Mark was on vacation, so we had a staycation. Which explains the blogging and email black hole I fell into. We were able to check off a bunch of things from our summer fun list, including a tour to the HERR's snack factory.

The HERR's factory is located about 20 minutes from us but we have never taken the time to go on a tour. We decided it was time to check it out since it is so close and the tour is free. It was blazing HOT the day we went but since we didn't spend too much time outside the boys didn't mind. Well truthfully, anything with the word snack in it is going to be okay by them. We are a snacking family!

They do not let you take any pictures while on the actual tour, but they do show you all around their facilities and have places where you can observe all of the different process. This factory makes all varieties of potato chips, pretzels, corn chips and cheese puffs. The tour takes about an hour and is really well done. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Chipper is the mascot of the HERR's company and Luke was excited to meet him. Unfortunately, Chipper was on 'vacation'. Maybe next time...

Since we were not able to take any pictures inside, we took some outside in front of the factory. I love that picture of the boys. I think I'm going to post it in their playroom, to remind them that they do love each other - we've had lots of fighting this summer!

I'm so happy my friend Bri challenged me to be in more pictures with my kids this summer. Since I told Mark my goal, he has been very good about making sure I come out from behind the camera.

By this time, the boys were hot, tired and hungry - so this was the best picture I could get of Mark and the kids. Good thing the tour ends at the gift shop, where you can buy any HERR's snack you desire. We ended up with a bunch of Oops! products and two cars they just had to have.

If you are local, the HERR's snack factory tour would be well worth your time. It is great for kids of all ages and accessible for strollers or wheelchairs. But best of all, it is free and they give you a bag of chips at the end of the tour. All that and a bag of chips!

put me in the zoo

2011-07-18T09:00:00.037-04:00

On Friday I took the kids to a small, local zoo. The Plumpton Park Zoo is about 25 minutes from our house and has been around forever. I remember going with my nephew Joe when he was little and he is now 14 and as tall as me. The last time I took the boys to this zoo was four years ago and not much has changed. It is under new ownership and I did see them starting to make changes and improve the conditions.

Even though it was small and at times confusing (not all the cages had signs as to what we were looking at or some had signs and were empty), the kids all had a blast. The weather was great and it was not crowded, so we basically got to run around outside and look at animals for a few hours.

They have a few animals in pens that you can pet and feed. They sell the cups of animal pellets at the gate when you pay your entrance fee. I wasn't sure if the boys would feed the animals but we got a cup anyway. As it turns out they did feed the animals but not out of their hands, out of the cup.

Some of our favorite animals were;

the giraffe, although John thought he looked lonely being the only giraffe in the whole zoo

the zebras, this guy kept turning his back on me. The boys kept saying 'where's Alex and Gloria?' and then cracking up, like they were hilarious. Anyone else know that movie?

This little bobcat was cute! And we got to see the zookeeper feed her. The keeper was serious about his job, told us lots of interesting facts and patiently answered our ~~8,000~~ questions.

This zoo has peacocks who roam around the grounds. They are such beautiful birds! We did not see any with it's tail feathers displayed but we saw plenty in trees and other places.

This guy was one of the first animals we saw when we got to the zoo. We saw him walk out of his little house / enclosure and start walking towards the fence. The boys were excited because they thought he was coming to see them, I thought he was coming for some shade. However, dude just kept walking and walking right at the fence and then right into the fence. He bumped right into it. Zoos always make me kind of sad. Seeing all those animals out of their natural habitat and in cages with not much to do all day, I always imagine them wishing they could get out and go home. And then, this old tortoise just kept walking towards the fence like today he was going to get out and just keep walking...

We also loved seeing the Black Bear and the Siberian Tiger. However, neither one of them would cooperate for a good picture. John said, 'too bad they have so many wires and fences in front of the bear it's hard to get his picture'. Me on the other hand, I was happy to forgo the picture for a little extra fencing. The kids loved the zoo and now want to go to another zoo that has a lion (or to go see Alex as Luke kept saying).

Grace enjoyed the zoo and since it was so small, I was able to let her walk around for a little while. Although, she did kind of freak out this old couple because she kept walking up to them and staring at them. It made me laugh because they didn't know what to make of her. Then she started her shrieking and I put her back in her stroller.

John is making a summer scrapbook with all the photos he is taking on our summer vacation. So far he has a few hundred. He is really excited to print them and put them in an album.

Overall, we liked the zoo. As I said, it is small and a little unorganized but it was the perfect size for me and the kids. We also get to check one more thing off our summer fun list!

princess party

2011-07-17T20:58:00.000-04:00

We have been going to our church for almost 3 years now and have been blessed with an amazing church family. One large part of our love for our church is that we are a part of a small group or home group for families. A small group, for those of you that are not familiar with this concept (as we were not when we joined), is a group of couples (in our case) that meet on a consistent basis to study God's word together, to grow in our relationship with Christ and to provide fellowship. Our small group has been a life line for our family. We didn't know what we were missing all those years, but now that we do we couldn't function as well without them. We joined our small group when we started going to our church.

We see our small group 3 weeks a month and our kids don't remember a time when we didn't see each other this often. Our kids are great friends with all the kids in the other families. We are beyond blessed by the relationships, friendships, fellowship and prayers of these families.

All of the kids just accept Grace for who she is and isn't. No one makes a big deal about her differences, they just play with her as best she can. It is truly amazing to see the kids try and include her in their play time. One of the little girls had a birthday recently and invited Grace to the party. The mom said, she asked for Grace by name.

This was Grace's first birthday party and it was a princess party! All the little girls either came dressed as their favorite princess or borrowed a princess costume at the party. Grace got to dress as Ariel and she looked so cute in the costume.

I wasn't sure how she would do with putting on a costume but she really seemed to like it. She kept looking at the dress and playing with it. She loved the colors and she looked so cute! She 'sort of' participated in the princess parade, she gets lots of practice at home following her brothers around the house. All the rest of the party stuff went right by her, and it's okay she was having a great time watching all the little girls play and decorate their cupcakes. For now, it was a big step that she was invited to a party and had fun being there.

All in all, her first princess party was a huge success. I will always be grateful to the birthday girl and her mom for including my sweet girl in the party. And to our church, for putting such a focus on community and fellowship. We would be lost without the support and love from our small group.

summer days = fun times

2011-07-15T14:14:00.000-04:00

We are quickly crossing things off our summer fun list and having a blast doing so! I feel like our summer days and weeks have found a rhythm and we are enjoying being carefree or at least school free right now. I have been planning activities or outings 2-3 days a week and it seems like the perfect balance for our family. The boys are enjoying a few days of getting out of the house and doing stuff. But then there are days like yesterday when they spent until 1:00PM in their pjs, got their suits on for some backyard water play and then changed into their halloween costumes for some superhero play. Like I said, the perfect balance for our little family.

One thing the boys put on our list was a slip and slide. So we went to the store and bought one with a HUGE splash pool at the bottom. The boys had a blast the first time we used it. It was super slippery and the huge splash pool was super fun to, well, splash into.

I can't count the amount of times they exclaimed, 'Mom, this is so fun!', 'This is the BEST slip and slide ever'. They literally played on it for over an hour. Which is a long time at our house. And then the unthinkable happened.

It ripped! The slide part separated from the HUGE splash pool part. There were some very upset boys at our house. So now we have a $9 one from a large Mart and it is not as fun or as cool as the other one, but it has lasted longer!

This is just a random picture of our lifeguard. She won't go to close to the slip and slip but she likes to watch the boys and she yells at them the whole time. I'm tempted to put her on the slip and slide and see if she likes it.

Happy Weekend to You!

blueberry picking

2011-07-07T22:18:00.000-04:00

We are checking things off our summer fun list quickly around here. It is strange though because even though it feels like we have been really busy and we've had a lot of fun, some of our days seem endless. I guess it may be due to the fact that two tired boys fought and cried most of the afternoon today. It is on those days that I am not as organized and not at the top of my game, that things feel off a little bit. Today was one of those days.

As for our summer list, I had grand plans of blogging about each item that we checked off our list. However, summer vacation and reality set in and that just isn't happening. I do have the list written out and am thinking of making a scrapbook out of the list and the pictures that I take of some of the things on it. It seems like that could be a do-able project and one that could either be an annual scrapbook for me to complete or maybe a big one that we add to each year. I'm not sure which I'll do but the more I think on it, the more I like the idea of a summer scrapbook.

Last year we went with friends to a local farm to pick blueberries and peaches. It was so much fun that the boys put it on our summer list for this year. Unfortunately, due to schedules we ended up going alone (just me and the boys). We set off with great optimism and expectations that it would be as fun as last year. Those thoughts lasted until we got to the first blueberry bush. I kid you not. We pulled in to the parking area and talked with the farmer about where to pick. Then, we set off to fill our bucket.

As I reached out to pick a few blueberries, I surprised a daddy long legs spider. It crawled off the blueberry bush onto my arm, I squealed and brushed him off my arm, right onto John {yikes}. I nonchalantly tried to brush the spider off John but I had to tell him what I was doing. And that was all she wrote. Neither boy wanted to touch a blueberry bush after that.

Not to be deterred, I continued down the rows picking blueberries as I went. There were lots of bees, beetles, spiders and other crawling insects to contend with. One of the things I love about this farm is that their berries are spray free however, you encounter a lot of bugs in that environment. Not only were there lots of bugs flying and crawling around, it was really hot. Luke was complaining of the heat, he doesn't like to be too hot, and John was complaining about all the bees. All the while, I was going down the row picking blueberries as I went.

We stayed about 35 minutes, filled half of our bucket and took some pictures. Did I mention the heat? It was so hot that day. After the farm we drove to my parents house to share some blueberries with them. My parents were watching my sister Cathy's dog for the weekend, so we got to see both Sam (my parent's dog) and Max (my sister's dog). Which I think the boys enjoyed more that the blueberry picking.

Overall, it was fun. John and I ate almost half of our haul the first day. We are going to do some baking with the rest this weekend. And I'm hoping to go back next week with my sister Patty. For those of you who are local, we went to Spring Valley Farm. It is located in Cecil County, Maryland which is about a 25-30 minute drive for us.

birthday tradition

2011-07-05T21:16:00.000-04:00

As our kids have gotten older, Mark and I have discussed being purposeful about family traditions. Okay, really I have talked and he has listened. But we are in agreement that now is the time for us to implement traditions create excitement, expectation and a sense of belonging to our family unit.

One family tradition that we started last year, sort of by accident (which I guess goes against the whole purposeful argument), was going out to breakfast to celebrate birthdays. Mark works a lot of nights and weekends and therefore isn't always home for dinner the day of one of our birthdays. In fact, last year he had to work 2 - 10 PM on his birthday. I was trying to figure out how to celebrate his birthday, when I realized breakfast out would be fun. So the kids and I took him out to breakfast for his birthday and a tradition was born.

We typically go on the person's birthday or as close to it as we can get. This year we took Mark out to breakfast almost a month after his actual birthday, but no one seemed to mind. The boys always get the same thing. Sprinkle pancakes with a side of bacon for Luke and Chocolate Chip pancakes for John.

This was the first time I brought my camera, which I find hard to believe since it is usually attached to me like a third arm. After we had finished eating, we asked the waiter to snap our family picture.

Now I think another family tradition has been born, taking a family picture at our birthday breakfast celebration!!

party of five

2011-07-01T16:18:00.001-04:00

Typically we rent Saturday to Saturday and therefore our family unit leaves on Friday to avoid all the beach traffic. However, this year our beach house rental was Sunday to Sunday. As a result, all the other families left on Saturday and we stayed until Sunday by ourselves. It was really fun. One of my goals is for our family of five to vacation alone. Some of my fondest memories from my childhood are tied to our family vacations. Those are the times that really knit our family together and strengthen the bonds of siblings. This is not to say that I don't cherish the time with extended family, but I want for my kids what I had. Vacations that just included our family.

Since most people are just getting into their rentals on Saturday night, the restaurant we chose had no wait. We had an enjoyable meal at one of my favorite beach restaurants. This restaurant is on the water (I'm not entirely sure what water it is but I know it is not oceanfront). So we went outside to the dock behind it to take some family pictures. We were really hoping to see someone else who we could ask to take our family picture, but we were out there on our own.

One downfall of this particular dock is that it is REALLY windy. But I love the first picture of the kids and it may make it into our Christmas card...

After dinner we went to Jockey's Ridge State Park to climb the sand dunes. This is something that the kids really love to do. We attempted to do it when all the cousins were here but a storm rolled through right when we got there and they closed the park. See below for picture of the stormy sky.

Since we had brighter skies, we decided to go to the dunes on our last night. This was Grace's first time at the dunes since we normally leave her with Mark's mom. She love it! The sand is so soft and wasn't as hot as the sand on the beach. Mark did have to carry her part of the way and down the big cliffs of sand but otherwise my girl did it herself.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the sand dunes. The one of the boys running down gives you an idea of just how much sand there is on the cliffs.

We were able to find someone at the dunes to take a family picture for us. It is not the best picture of any of us as individuals but it is a sweet reminder of a great time, so I'll take it.

This last picture of Grace is to show how much she loved the sand at the dunes. It is really incredible for us to see her playing in sand. It is hard to see but she has a huge smile on her face. I'm not sure if her therapists read our family blog but I hope they do!

After the dunes, we went out for ice cream. Grace ate almost half of Mark's dish of cookies and cream ice cream. Which is a pretty big deal for ~~him~~ her. To top off the already full night, the boys went night swimming in the pool once we got back to the house. Overall, I would say our last night at the house as just our little family of five was a HUGE success. One we are all looking forward to repeating next year.

aquarium fun

2011-06-30T09:51:00.000-04:00

The Outer Banks has an aquarium that is just the right size for a beach location. It is not so small that the kids can blaze through it too quickly but it is not large enough that it takes hours to get through. This is our third, maybe fourth, year in a row going. Not much has changed in those years but it is still something our boys request doing every year. We typically go in the morning so we don't hit too many crowds.

This year we went with Mark's sister Mindy, her husband Chuck, their two kids (Brooke (5) and Brandon (2)), our nephew Mitchell (11) and niece Mia (8). So we had a good sized crew and the kids all seemed to really enjoy their visit.

Here is a picture of Mitchell, John and Luke before we entered the Aquarium.

At the beginning of the Aquarium they have a replica of a huge shark's mouth. Every year we have gone we get a picture taken of the kids behind the mouth. So being creatures of habit, the kids all stood behind the mouth expectantly waiting for their picture to be taken.

The kids enjoyed seeing all the creatures that live at the Aquarium...

But the shark tank is always their favorite exhibit. John took these pictures, which actually turned out great. It is really dark in this room and the flash usually makes a terrible glare on the pictures.

This guy was cleaning the tank and scared most of the little kids...

They have several interactive exhibits there. One has shallow pools of water where the kids can touch and interact with sting rays and other sea animals. The workers there are so great. One of them got a spiny sea urchin out and held it out for Grace to see. She actually reached her hand out and touched this little guy. It always touches my heart when people go out of their way to make Grace's experience meaningful.

One new exhibit there this year was a Sea Turtle Rescue exhibit. It was totally interactive and really fun for the kids. They had them put on lab coats, get a turtle from the 'sea' and then they went to a diagnostic section where they watched a short video and were able to use the same tools on their plastic turtle. Then they moved to the treatment area and again were able to use 'tools' to help their turtle. The final phase was putting the turtle back into the sea. It was really fun for the kids.

And would you look at that! Photographic evidence that mom was on the vacation too. I am trying to get into the pictures more so my kids have pictures of them with me from their youth. It is difficult to do sometimes but a dear friend challenged me to change that. She said that I needed to learn to use my camera's timer so I could take pictures of me with the kids while we were out by ourselves. So even though I do not always like the way I look in pictures, I'm committed to appearing in more of them.

After the our trip to the Aquarium, we made our standard visit to Big Al's Soda Fountain and Grill. It is a fun place with retro Coca-Cola memorabilia everywhere and really good dinner food. We love going there and the kids love their milk shakes. It was another successful trip to the aquarium for all.

beach vacation 2011

2011-06-28T20:22:00.000-04:00

Last week, Sunday to Sunday, we were in Nags Head, North Carolina. We had an awesome time with Mark's four sister's, (most) of their kids and Mark's parents. In total, there were 20 of us staying in one beach house. One amazing beach house. We loved it so much, it just suited everyone's needs so well, that we booked it for next year!

We stayed right on the beach and got to enjoy beautiful sunrises. We had amazing weather. It rained twice but both times were at night. The kids loved playing in the sand and jumping waves.

The house also has a pool. Which made it easy for all the kids to play together. Luke was able to take off his life vest and swim without it. He also learned to swim under water, which is a huge accomplishment for him. Grace also enjoyed some pool time. She really liked watching the kids run and jump in the water.

We took almost 300 pictures last week. So I'm sure I will post more from our vacation, now that I'm caught up on laundry and sleep. It really was such a great vacation. I'm so happy my kids have such a great time with their cousins.

school's out {part 2}

2011-06-17T20:28:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was John's last day of school. He is now officially a 2nd grader. We placed him in a multi-age classroom for 1st and 2nd grade. So he will have the same awesome teacher next year and half of the kids will be the same as this year. We are so pleased with the multi-age classroom approach.

We were a bit rushed in the morning and I did not take pictures of John before school so I had him pose after school. At first he didn't want too, but he's been trained well and brought out his cutest smiles.

The school year is finally over! I'm so happy to have the kids home for the summer and to be on a more relaxed schedule. Grace will be resuming school in 2 weeks for her school's extended school year program. And speaking of Grace, her school ended last week also and I did not take any pictures - bad mommy. I have some cute ones of her to post and may just call them last day of school pictures.

Happy Weekend everyone!!

school's out {part 1}

2011-06-16T14:18:00.000-04:00

Last week Luke finished preschool. He is now officially a Kindergartner. It seems impossible, but it is true. My baby boy is going to real school in the fall. It makes me so sad. But the good news is that it is just half days, so mama has another year before they are all in school full days. And no, I'm not going back to work when that happens...

Here are the obligatory pictures by our front door before the last day of school.

This picture cracks me up! Mark has a terrible habit of having his eyes closed in almost all pictures of him outside - he has blue eyes and they are more sensitive to light (according to him). For some reason, Luke's eyes were bothering him and so he was holding his head. In the only picture of the two of them when Luke isn't holding his head like this, Mark has his eyes closed.

Me and my sweet boy.

Here is a flashback to the first day of school. They both grew and changed a lot this year. And holy organization batman, I totally forgot that I made a sign for them to hold with the year they were starting. So happy I did that!

Yay! School's out for the summer! We are headed out for ice cream to celebrate.

wordless wednesday - sleepy girl

2011-06-14T15:46:00.000-04:00

john's week in review

2011-06-12T19:56:00.000-04:00

Last week was a very busy week for our family. So I didn't get a chance to post any of the stuff we did, plus my computer is doing that thing again where I can't download pictures. I think it may be a sign of something bad in terms of my hard drive. In order to catch up on what we did, I'm going to do a post for each child. I'm starting with John because he is the oldest and had the most activities, so he got the most pictures taken.

Last week John played in his last two baseball games of the season. Truth be told, his team wasn't really that good. But the players all learned a lot and the coaches were great with the kids. So I consider it a good year. In his last game he started as the catcher. Which is the one position I would never want my child to play. Too dangerous. But at this level, the catcher doesn't really do too much. I think he looked really cute suited up in the catchers gear. And check out that form. They told him how to position himself and he did not move from that position.

Then he moved to third base, which he really likes. There is always a lot of balls hit that way and he likes to field the ball and throw to first base. Finally, he ended the game as pitcher. Check out the concentration on his face. He loves {loves} to pitch!

And that was that. His season is over. Next year he will move up to Minor C, in which the kids pitch the whole time. He is already looking forward to that.

This past week was also Field Day! I know I've said this before, but John goes to a school that is only Kindergarten, First and Second Graders. This school has close to 1,100 kids in it. It is a really BIG school. I was able to volunteer and help run of the over 20 stations.

Here is John's class. Did I mention it was one of the hottest days of the year so far. Of course it was...

Here is John at my station. The Sack Race.

I was happy that I was able to volunteer for FD. But boy was it hot out!

On Thursday, John's class had their end of the year program. He is in a multi-age classroom, so half of the kids are in 1st grade and half are in 2nd grade. We absolutely love his teacher! She does a great job with the kids and is an amazing teacher. The program was cute. The kids all sang songs and then the older kids got to show off their talents. The talents were; joke telling, demonstrating hockey plays, jump rope, singing/dancing to Justin Beiber songs, piano playing and magic tricks. It was really fun to watch the kids. Here is a picture of the whole class, I ended up on the opposite side of the auditorium from John so I didn't get any close ups of him. I did video parts of it for Mark who was working, but I think it may have been too dark.

Whew! What a packed week John had last week. This week is his last week of school. The other two kids are both finished so, we can't wait for John to be done and for our summer vacation to start.

catch up post in pictures

2011-06-06T11:01:00.000-04:00

Last week when I was working on the computer our power randomly went out. This is not unusual for the area we live in. In fact, when we first moved here it would happen weekly. The power goes out for a few minutes (5, 10 or 15) and then just comes back on. As a result of that mini-power outage, I am now able to download pictures off my camera card. Which is a good thing because repeatedly putting it the slot was not working and I was all out of ideas after that!

So here are some pictures of our past few weeks...

John lost one of his top teeth! I love how cute it makes him look AND

the second one is really loose now that there is room to wiggle it.

We planted our garden. It was a bit later than normal but we got it done. We planted tomatoes, peppers, celery, cilantro, basil, onions, lettuce, squash and pumpkins. For some reason, I have to resist going back and alphabetizing that list!

Grace was of no help, but she loved walking in the dirt / mud that day!

Our robin's eggs hatched and we had babies living with us for a while.

They have all flown away now.

Our neighbor gave us tadpoles from the wetlands behind her house a few weeks ago. We watched them turn from tadpoles into the smallest frogs we've ever seen and then die. I guess we waited a bit too long to release them back into nature. But it was really fun to watch them change from tadpoles into frogs...

This is the last week of John's baseball season. We have spent quite a bit of time at the ball field for both boys this year. John has really enjoyed playing and his skills have improved a lot this year.

Luke not so much...

I have a bunch to post about what else has been going on as we wind down school for the year and look forward to summer vacation. But that catches things up for now.

starting the week with a list

2011-05-31T11:05:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd do a catch up post in list format, since I love a good list...

1. I can't download pictures from my camera to my computer. So this will be one of the few picture-less posts on my blog. I'm not sure why, but when I put my SD card into my hard drive nothing happens. Up until last week, this would download the pictures from the card to my PC. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Actually, I keep inserting the picture card hoping it will just work this time. I know, I know, I'm very technical.

2. I went running yesterday at 2:30, which was quite possibly the hottest time of day on the hottest day this year. It might not have been the best idea I've ever had. But I felt so good and my muscles were so loose that I ran my little 3 mile loop in my fastest time so far. Using fast in that sentence is a bit of a stretch since I'm not a fast runner, but it was fast for me!

3. We went to two pool parties this past weekend. It is so fun to have friends with in ground pools. And very generous friends at that. The boys loved being in the pool and it was a struggle to get them out. Both boys are doing really well in the water this year, so it should be a fun summer.

4. Grace did well in the pool too. She did not cry and loved watching all the kids jump, splash and play. Hopefully, this will be a good year for Grace in the pool too. Last year, she cried almost every time we took her in the water. So like any good parents, we took her a lot to try and get her over her fear of water.

5. We went to our church's Assistant Youth Pastor's wedding this past weekend. It was so fun. They had a beautiful church ceremony followed by an amazing outdoor reception. The weather Saturday was just perfect for an outdoor reception. We had a great time with so many of our good friends. Unfortunately, I had a mini-meltdown. Sometimes, these moments just sneak up on me and take my breath away. We were having a blast at the reception and then the bride and her dad started dancing for their dance. All of the sudden, it was as if all of the air in the tent got sucked out and I could not breathe. I got up to leave and my friends thought I was going to use the bathroom, so they came with me. As we were walking to the most amazing port-a-potty I've ever seen, I started crying. It hit me, that Mark will never dance with Grace at her wedding. And that is hard to face. Most days I live in the present with Grace and her disabilities, but sometimes I get a glimpse of what we are missing or what we will miss having a child like Grace and it is difficult to face. Thankfully, my friends just let me cry a little, hugged me and agreed that it sucked. It is good to have friends like that.

6. We have started our summer fun list with the kids and it is off to a great start. This is something we haven't done before but I saw it on a few blogs and it seemed like a great idea. We are basically listing a bunch of things that we want to do as a family or just with me and the kids before the summer is over. High on our list are seeing Cars 2 in June, blueberry picking and going to a rodeo. I'll post our complete list when it's done.

7. We seem to have moved directly into summer weather here in the North East or Mid Atlantic, I'm not really sure where we fall technically on the maps. It has been 90 or close to it recently and it feels more like July than May. John still has 3 weeks of school left and so far they haven't turned on the air conditioning at his school.

8. John lost one of his front teeth last week. After many weeks of it hanging on it finally came out. Now the other tooth is loose and he hopes to loose it more quickly than the first. We can already see his permenant tooth coming in.

That's it for my list. I like to end on an even number so I'm going to stop there. Have a good day!

the end of an era

2011-05-26T20:58:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is Luke's last day of preschool. Well, actually instead of having school they are having a class picnic with another class from his little school. And then after Memorial Day, he will go back to school for two weeks of extended school - the school offered this so that the preschool would end at the same time as the local public schools. However, due to all the snow, Luke is still going to finish school before the public schools. Anyway, tomorrow is his last official day of school.

A few weeks ago we went to our last preschool performance. It was bittersweet. I love {love} the little academy that both John and Luke have gone to for preschool. It is associated with a Nazarene church and has super small class sizes with amazing teachers who really love teaching. Luke has grown and developed so much under these teachers. On any given day, Luke will be playing by himself and burst into song. And not just any song, but 'Jesus is my best friend' or 'I will follow' by Chris Tomlin. We pray that these songs take root in his heart and stay there.

All the pictures I got of Luke turned out really blurry or I took them right as the kid in front of him blocked my view, so I don't have any really good pictures to share. But here is my favorite picture from the night. What a hoot!!

Luke was so happy to see us, even though we drove together as a family, he kept waving to me from the stage. Then when he walked by us, he flashed this huge grin. John snapped this picture as all the kids were walking out.

I must admit I'm a little bit more than sad that Grace doesn't go to this school. Due to the fact that Luke and Grace are only 12 months apart, Grace should be finishing her first year at this school. And in the fall, she would have the same teacher that both John and Luke had for pre-Kindergarten. So it was very bittersweet to attend my last preschool performance at this school, because if Grace was typically developing - we'd have one more year of preschool. Oh well. Such is the life of a mom with a special needs child. Some things are harder than others to take. Unfortunately, this one makes me sad.

On a more positive note, I'm so happy for this school and the growth and development we've seen in Luke this past year. And we have decided to send Luke to Kindergarten there in the fall, so it is not the end of my affiliation with this school. At the end of next year, I may tear up a little bit every time I drive by this school. But for now, we have one more year there.

stop the r word

2011-05-24T22:06:00.000-04:00

I love this PSA that ran during Glee tonight.

The words retard or retarded and the phrases 'that's so retarded' or 'you're retarded' are slang that are still acceptable. And very widely used by people to describe themselves, their actions, and the actions of others. It is slang that is perceived as no big deal. I don't mean anything by it, most people say. But if you have a child that has been given that diagnosis, every time you hear retard used as slang or a put down - it is like a knife in your heart.

I am not confrontational, but I have started to say things to people. When a friend said 'he's so retarded' referring to her husband. I said, 'we don't use that slang around here' and pointed at Grace. When a friend said, 'I told my kid they better shape up or they would be riding the short bus', I said, 'Grace already rides the short bus, they can ride with her'. It may not be much, but I'm trying to do my part to spread the word and stop the use of the r word. There's even a web site you can go to and sign a pledge that you will help. Go here to sign the pledge.

Spread the word. Stop the r word. Speak up and out for those that have no voice.

outside fun

2011-05-19T14:10:00.000-04:00

I just realized I didn't post these pictures last week because Blogger was down for a bit. It has been rainy every day here or the forecast calls for rain, so we haven't gotten as much outside play this week. However, here are some of my favorite pictures from last week;

Ever since the great escape she made, we are constantly yelling 'go get Grace' to whoever is nearest to her. She just likes to walk away. In this case, biggest brother John was called upon to corral Grace. What is so funny about this is that as soon as he got her back to our driveway, she took off again...

One of the neighborhood boys has a 4 wheeler and he drives it around the neighborhood. Well our boys just love him, he is the nicest boy. When Luke saw him the other day he asked for a ride. Luke loves to ride on anything that goes fast.

Then he asked for another ride. This time he took off his bicycle helmet and sat backwards. I think he liked riding this way WAY better.

John took this picture of the two of them riding around our cul-de-sac.

And finally, sidewalk chalk is a HUGE favorite at our house still. The boys will draw for hours. Recently it has been Luke that will draw non-stop. John wants to play catch everyday now that he is playing baseball. Unfortunately, I'm the one that plays catch with him most days so I haven't gotten any pictures. Here is Luke's most recent drawing.

From top to bottom it is Dark Vader, Black Spiderman (john), Spiderman (luke), Green Goblin, Lucy (from the Narnia Chronicles), Skeleton (from the Clutch Powers lego movie), Darth Maul (Star Wars), Water Guy (a bad guy that fights Spiderman), CPO (or C3PO from Star Wars) and finally R2D2. As you can tell, there is a LOT going on in Luke's brain :)

{almost} wordless wednesday

2011-05-18T13:48:00.000-04:00

This is how John came down stairs after dinner and doing his homework last night.

He pretended he wasn't dressed just like his dad and said very casually, 'well, honey I'm going to work now' and then BUSTED out laughing. It was so funny! He really does have a great sense of humor...

And as you may be able to see, he is very close to loosing one of his front teeth. It can officially be considered a 'snaggle tooth' right now. But I think he is afraid to pull it out in case it bleeds a lot or hurts. He really wants to loose it, but doesn't want any pain involved.

twelve years!

2011-05-16T15:25:00.000-04:00

Delight thyself in the Lord and He will give

you the desires of your heart - Psalm 37:4

Twelve years ago today Mark and I got married. In a beautiful, outdoor ceremony at the Goodstay House and Gardens. We got married in front of a reflecting pool and had the most glorious weather possible. It was a perfect day! One of these days I'll take the time to figure out my scanner and post a wedding photo.

On Saturday night we celebrated our anniversary at my favorite restaurant, The Farmhouse. It was Respite Night at our church, so we were able to drop the kids off for their evening activities and enjoy a quiet meal by ourselves. Then we went to Mark's aunt and uncle's house to help celebrate his cousin Dave's 50th birthday. It was so fun to see everyone, including Mark's cousin John who set us up on a blind date!

This past year was an incredible year. Our marriage was stretched and put to the test like never before. We are happy to say that we came out stronger, more committed and closer together than ever before. It is not a year we would like to revisit anytime soon, but we thank God for the challenges we faced. We know that through His refining fire, we become the people that He purposes us to be and we will have the marriage He calls us to have. So we go through the valleys knowing that the sun in shining on the mountain tops and that God has us cradled in the palm of His hand all along the way.

Happy Anniversary to my love! I just know that THIS is going to be the best year ever...